For the briefest moment, his lips twitched before he sobered once again. “No difficult menstrual cycles in your past, obviously.” He exhaled. “Of course not.”
“Your knowledge of what aids the female reproductive cycle is both impressive and horrifying.”
He didn’t laugh, just brushed my hair away from my brow. “Most likely, it’ll be fine.”
“Sure. That seems likely.” I nodded vigorously. Positive beliefs brought about positive results.
I’d been all about that motto, until my parents had sold my dreams right out from under me.
“There are options.” He cleared his throat and picked up my hand, playing with my fingers as if he couldn’t meet my gaze. “Like the morning-after pill. Just as a precaution—”
“No.”
He frowned. “No?”
“Yes. It’s a two-letter word meaning negatory. I don’t think we have anything to worry about.” I scrambled off him and picked up the shreds of my lingerie, balling them in my hands.
I set a little scrap aside to keep for my memory book. That was even better than a photo of our sex lair.
Biting my lip, I glanced back at the messy sheets. Maybe I’d snag a quick snap of that too.
Then I glimpsed the small spot of blood.
It embarrassed me more than anything else. I’d have to clean it up. God only knows what the hotel would charge. Besides, gross. I should’ve thought ahead. Grabbed a towel. Something.
I rushed into the bathroom to get a wet washcloth, but when I turned, I bumped into Oliver. I hadn’t even heard him follow me. Damn cat-quiet movements of his.
“I have to take care of—”
“Let me. I’ll take care of that, and you too.” He caught the fist with the washcloth and brought it to his chest.
To my absolute horror, the backs of my eyes grew hot. What the heck was wrong with me? I’d been fine five minutes ago. Then I’d seen a tiny spot and talked about some dumb pill I wasn’t even going to take and I was all screwed up.
“I’m not taking some pill.” I stared at his throat because I couldn’t bear to face him dead-on. He’d think I was soft and spineless, and maybe I was. Maybe I was too sensitive to be a woman of the world.
I’d just have to live with that. Make my peace with who I was at heart, just perhaps strive to be a bolder version now and then.
When he didn’t say anything, I couldn’t stop from filling the silence. “I know all your other women probably wouldn’t hesitate, and I’m sure it’s a needless precaution, but I can’t do it. It just doesn’t feel right to me.”
Some part of me waited for an accusation. A small, angry part that had already lifted her fists, prepared to duke it out if need be.
Hoping for a Hamilton progeny, are you?
The child didn’t actually exist, but I’d do battle just the same.
r /> Instead, he gripped my chin and tugged my face closer. “I don’t have any other women,” he murmured, and something about his phrasing made my heart slam against the wall of my chest. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I just wanted you to have all the information, so you could make your own choice.”
The tears came again, except this time one sneaked through. He caught it with his thumb and I swallowed hard. “All I ever wanted was choices.”
He nodded as if it made all the sense in the world. “With me, you’ll always have them.”
I leaned my head against him and absorbed the crazy thud of his heartbeat under my ear. “Thank you.”
“Not necessary.” He brushed a kiss over the top of my head. “I didn’t want to ruin this for you. I mean, assuming I could, unless you already didn’t find it satisfactory. And if so—”
“Oliver.”
“Yes?”