Thankfully, she hadn’t balked at giving me time off. If I needed more, I was hopeful I could get it. Ally would be back in a few months, despite Seth’s strenuous objections. She enjoyed working, and they’d discussed getting a nanny if she worked part-time.
Maybe she wouldn’t come back at all. I imagined it would be hard leaving an adorable baby at home just to come sling hash and pour coffee.
I might have a dilemma like that on my hands soon enough as well, though there was no question I would be working. I needed the money. The last thing I wanted was to be beholden to anyone. That was another part of being adult. Handling your stuff.
First, I needed to see if there was even anything to worry about.
After I dressed in jeans and a fuzzy sweater, I peeked outside and groaned inwardly at the deluge of snow. Lovely. Looked like I needed my boots, and not the cute suede heeled ones. I bundled up and hurried down to the drugstore, crossing everything that no one I knew would be working the cash register. My luck was in, because the person ringing up purchases appeared to be a new hire from the high school. I dumped the three early detection pregnancy tests I’d grabbed along with a pair of tampons for the purpose of subterfuge—of course, I’m buying these tests for a friend!—and six Nestle Crunch bars on the counter. On second thought, I added the family-size bag of sea salt potato chips.
If I’d gotten knocked up the very first time I had sex, I deserved every bit of the gluttony.
The kid didn’t even look at what he’d rung up and bagged. I hurried out of the store and back to my loft in the accumulating snow, stopping for an extra minute or two to admire the way the falling flakes seemed to disappear into the gray ice of the lake. The gazebo was strung up with white twinkle lights, and I swallowed hard, remembering the lights I’d tried to hang up in Oliver’s office.
Seth had been right. They were crooked, but they were absolutely perfect.
Oliver had probably taken them down. Possibly burned them.
Along with memories of me. Us. The Valentine’s that wasn’t at his family’s cabin.
My eyes were stinging, and it wasn’t from the snow.
I trudged back inside, lined up the tests on my bathroom sink, and took care of business. My hands were shaking and I had trouble actually, you know, peeing on command, since I was so nervous. But after sucking down a cup of water, all good to go.
Nothing left to do but wait. Eyes closed, barely breathing.
The craziest part about all of this? I didn’t know if I wanted to be pregnant or not.
Actually, no. That was a lie. Deep down, beneath the fear, I did. I always had. I wanted my own baby—babies, plural. Being a mom had always been my biggest dream, right along with running the bed-and-breakfast.
That the timing was all screwy didn’t matter. If I was pregnant, I wanted this baby. So much.
The timer went off and I bit my lip, bearing down until I tasted blood. I checked one stick after the other, my heartbeat echoing in my ears like a bass drum.
Each one of them said the same thing, clear as could be.
Pregnant.
This time, the sting in my eyes didn’t stop at just prickles. They overflowed, running unchecked down my cheeks. I stared at my reflection and cupped my stomach, disbelieving and scared and so, so happy.
Some dreams did come true. This baby was proof.
I sank to the toilet lid and just let myself weep for a few minutes. I couldn’t be strong. Not right now.
I also couldn’t keep this news to myself. I had to tell Oliver.
Would he freak out? Of course, he would. He’d freaked about the broken condom. Before that trip to Vegas, we’d never considered finding ourselves in this situation together. But that’s what we were. Together. Bound for the rest of our lives by this child, whether we liked it or not.
Seth was a great father, and he’d been caught even more off-guard by his ex-wife’s pregnancy. Oliver couldn’t be too shocked by this happening. He’d seen the evidence all over his hands. But Seth and his ex had gotten married just because of the baby, and the marriage had soon ended.
I didn’t want to get married for my kid. I didn’t want anything other than Oliver to be there for the child. And if he couldn’t—if he wouldn’t—well then, I’d do my best to be both parents. The baby would have my parents and Ally and Seth and…
God, what if Ally and Seth hated me? What if I hadn’t only lost Oliver with my outburst? They’d said and done some dubious things, but I knew they loved me. Maybe they didn’t know the reverse was true.
Maybe it didn’t matter anymore.
I sniffled and got myself together. No, I wasn’t going to disasterize. Not about Oliver, not about my best friend. I intended to blow my nose, brush my hair, put on some makeup, and then I’d go talk to Oliver—
My cell chimed and I dug it out, my pulse skipping at Seth’s name on the readout. Eeep, this had to mean…