Then again, I’d never tried to make a baby before either.
I hadn’t even precisely charted my ovulation yet. I had a doctor’s appointment later this afternoon and I was going to a
sk a bunch of questions and hopefully, find out the best dates for trying. I knew there were do-it-yourself methods to pick your best days. I certainly had a clue when I was reaching that point, but I wanted confirmation. I was already taking lots of notes in the new bullet journal Kelsey had helped me pick out a few days ago after we’d met up at the café. I was not so stealthily picking the brains of all the mamas I knew. All except Ivy, for obvious reasons. And I wasn’t going to feel guilty about that.
Lies. So many lies. I already was.
I took a deep breath and considered again Luna’s words about sex being just one form of expression before I spoke. They were used to waiting me out while I processed their readings. Yet another thing I appreciated about them.
“I’ve never been particularly free in that area either,” I admitted. “I’ve been locked down in a lot of ways. But the man I’m…with,” I finally settled on, “gives me the space I need and encourages me to explore.”
Ryan waggled her eyebrows. “Depending what kind of exploring you’re doing, I know of some very educational sites. Oh, and videos. There’s this one on RedTube where the guy lifts her up over his head and—”
Luna poked Ryan’s arm. “Sometimes she misses the finer points in her lust for, well, lust.”
“Hey, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve gone for a good ride? Porn is all I have left.”
“Tell that to the pink power drill I saw on your coffee table just last week.”
“It’s a real power drill.” Ryan shook her head while I laughed. “She’s just convinced if it’s hot pink, it has to be an implement of sexual pleasure. Which, hey, not saying I might not get to that point someday. If some people use cucumbers as sex toys, then clearly anything goes.”
Luna picked up the future card and held it toward the webcam. “Moving on from Ryan’s libido for a moment, if we can.”
“I suppose.” Ryan’s downtrodden expression made me laugh again.
It was so good to be able to laugh and have fun with girlfriends. I’d been blessed with a great circle in town, even if things had been a little weird for me since Ivy’s whirlwind pregnancy and marriage. I was so happy for her, but it had been a big change to go from being carefree single women who could hang out anytime and drink wine and watch Netflix to having a baby and a husband in the mix. At the same time, anyone could see she was so made to be a mother and how much she loved her husband.
Watching Ivy with her new family made me wonder. I couldn’t help it.
I rubbed my stomach. Maybe I’d know what the baby part was like sooner than I ever expected. August was certainly working hard at doing his part.
“Okay, for the future, Ace of Wands suggests you’re being given some opportunities right now that you need to seize with both hands or risk losing.”
“Opportunities?” I asked quietly. “Or people?”
Ryan and Luna exchanged a look. “The cards are up to interpretation. Your opportunity could be a person. Could be a choice you need to evaluate with your whole heart. Be open to what comes your way. Unlock any doors you’ve barred shut and see what flows inside.”
Ryan fought to keep her face straight. “She didn’t mean that in a dirty way, she swears.”
“No, I don’t.”
I laughed and curled my fingers against my belly under the lip of the desk. “Whichever way she means, she’s very wise. You both are.” The chimes over the shop door sounded as a pair of shoppers entered. I swallowed a sigh. Break time was officially over. “Gotta go. I’ll look forward to the extended session video. Thanks again as always.”
“Don’t you have someone else who can take over for a few minutes?”
“No. It’s me. Just me.” I put on my brightest smile and glanced away from the computer toward my new customers. A familiar blond head turned toward me as she hitched her giant bag up on her shoulder and my smile grew. “Hi Vee. Looking for anything in particular?”
“Kin! We’re just window shopping right now. Probably. Not sure. I need something va-va-voom for my first post twins dinner date with Murphy. And Bess needs,” Vee glanced at her companion, a chic older woman in a smart pantsuit with her snowy hair up in a chignon, “something funky for her new place. Right?”
“Kinleigh, did you say you’re looking for help for your shop?” Ryan asked from my laptop. She nudged Luna just as I glanced back. “Go on, say something.”
“What’s up, Lu?”
She ducked her head, a few of her loose waves falling into her face. “Just wondering if maybe you’re looking for an assistant. I’m always on the search for a fun new gig.”
Hmm, was this one of the opportunities I was supposed to stay open to? I had been considering bringing on at least some part-time help for the store. I couldn’t do everything myself, especially if this baby plan worked. The child would need a lot of my time.
I let out a slow breath. And I needed to take this step by step. No racing ahead. Reasonable and rational Kinleigh for the win.