“Before or after what, exactly?”
She lifted her eyebrows and sipped again.
“She is my assistant,” I said through gritted teeth. “I know what is right and proper doesn’t matter to anyone else around here, but it does to me.”
My mother rolled over that point as if it was insignificant. “So you are interested.”
“I’m interested in her doing some work during the time she is in my employ. I can be a very generous boss,” I swore I heard my mother snort, “and I’m willing to compensate more than fairly, but I need to know she cares enough to try.”
For God’s sake, was that the source of my irritation with her? Not counting misplaced lust, of course. I didn’t want to do this job, but I tried my hardest. Ryan sometimes behaved as if it was
n’t worth her time. As if I wasn’t.
I massaged my forehead. Psychobabble was taking over my brain.
My mother sighed. “She cares. She’s organizing your Rolodex into active and inactive clients, cross-referencing the log of their respective cases. Why April never thought to do that, I don’t know.”
I did not respond.
“And she was considerate enough to replenish the tea with her favored blends. There’s a new assortment in the waiting room for clients as well.”
“Along with a fresh stack of copies of Cosmo?”
“She’s so personable. I don’t doubt she will make your clients feel more comfortable at a very difficult time in their lives. Not that April isn’t more than capable, but she isn’t as warm and friendly.”
My mom singing Ryan’s praises didn’t exactly kill my annoyance. I’d just begged her to stay this morning. Obviously, I grasped her potential. But having potential didn’t mean she would use it, other than when it suited her.
I’d promised her a bonus either way, because she’d made inroads into the chaos of the records room. If she didn’t do much else this week, that would be worth it.
Not that I intended to tell her that.
My mother was still talking, although I’d clearly missed some of what she was saying. “I don’t worry about your brother, because he enjoys everything.”
“Too much.”
“How can you enjoy life too much?” My mom shook her head. “I married young, and sometimes I wonder what I missed. But then I look at you boys and take stock of my life, and I realized I have everything I could ever want.” She smiled and the frown lines creasing her forehead vanished. “Besides, I have plenty of time. As do you. When you look back at your life, always make sure there’s something to see.”
I swallowed hard. I should tell her. Soon.
But how? The last thing I wanted to do was to cause her pain. It wasn’t even my secret to tell.
But my father wouldn’t. That meant I’d have to.
“Why did you and Dad get married?”
She didn’t seem surprised by the question. “We were going in the same direction.” One corner of her mouth lifted then she drank more tea. “Then.”
I frowned. “What about now?”
“Why are you asking about marriage?” she asked in lieu of an answer.
“I’m not. I’m asking about yours. I want to understand what makes someone take a leap of faith like that.”
And why it goes wrong.
“Leaping with a net isn’t leaping at all. The jump is the destination.” She returned her tea cup to the wet bar and then moved to the door. “Sorry I can’t stay longer, but I’m meeting the girls to go shopping.” She paused with her hand on the knob. “You’ll think about what I said?”
I didn’t have much choice. What she’d said—and what she hadn’t—was spinning in my mind. Mixed in were flashes of memory of Ryan’s mouth, hot and hungry against mine.