“Do you want a towel?” She hated that she sounded tremulous, but he did that to her. None of her usual rules applied when they were together, and she didn’t know which version of herself would show up in his arms. He brought out sides to her she’d never explored—never even guessed were there. Being with him was addictive, and she didn’t know if she’d have to overdose before she found the strength to get into rehab.
“I’m good. Mostly dry now anyway.” He held up a fistful of sheet. “Bed’s wet though.”
“I can try to dry it—”
“You’re not my maid, Sara. Not my mother.”
As much as she wanted to toss back a retort, she knew now wasn’t the time. She’d been the one who’d pressed him on a subject that was obviously still very sore. “I sure hope not, because I think I’d need counseling after that bath we just took.”
He didn’t laugh. Didn’t say anything at all.
Sighing, she crossed the room to him and sat on the edge of the bed, drawing her leg up underneath her. Then she followed instinct and brushed her hand over his soft tufts of damp hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” He cursed under his breath. “Me too. I shouldn’t have gone off like that.”
“I pushed.”
“You didn’t know. And I—” He swore again.
“What?”
“Part of me wishes I hadn’t told you. Because, fuck it all, I know you’ll use that baby shit as an example of why we’re all wrong. Which is stupid. We’re not trying to have kids. Not getting hitched. What we are is so much simpler than that.”
Much to her utter disgust, her eyes filmed yet again. At least in the darkness he couldn’t see her tears. “I know.”
“Do you? I don’t think so.” He sat up and cupped her jaw, his thumb stroking her cheek. “Simpler doesn’t mean less. We’re friends and I trust you. If all of this ended tomorrow, I know you’d never purposely hurt me.”
No, but accidentally? More than possible. She already had multiple times.
She pressed her forehead against his and traced her fingers over his lips. That they curved into her touch didn’t surprise her. The man gave and gave, and she only saw and thought the worst. When had she become so damn negative?
“I trust you too. No matter what jokes I’ve made about your…history, I trusted you with my body. That’s not something I do lightly.”
“I’m still kind of shocked you did. The condoms were right there.”
“I wanted to live in the moment. To throw off the shackles of responsibility and just be Sara, not damn Doctor Carmichael. I wanted to feel you and know you were feeling all of me.” At his silence, she bit her lip. “Hokey or what?”
“No. Not at all.” He kissed her fingers, and more chips of her heart broke off and tumbled into his hands. “I loved being with you like that. And at the risk of sounding like a dick, I hope to God you want to do it again. Because, seriously? Fucking incredible.”
The awe in his tone made her laugh. He always managed to do that, no matter how uncertain or conflicted she felt. “Yes, it was. I’m protected. We’re protected, so you don’t have to worry that anything could happen, even if I wasn’t s—”
“If you talk about shriveling again, I’m going to take you over my knee for real this time. And you’ll be calling me Doctor by the time we’re through.”
“Actually I was saying I was sure it was the wrong time in my cycle,” she said with a smirk. Already he’d dried up her tears as if they’d never existed. “But okay. I’ll go with what you said.”
Chuckling, he palmed her breast through her towel and murmured against her ear, “No shriveling to be found. Trust me. I saw and touched and tasted and fucked every bit of that delicious pussy, and it’s goddamn perfect.”
The part of her he referenced started to tingle from the memory. “Between the threats and bad language, maybe I’m not the one who needs to be disciplined. Maybe you’re the bad little boy.”
“Thought we clarified I’m not little.”
“Agreed. You are little in no way.”
He laughed and nipped her earlobe. “But if you believe in domestic discipline, I’m happy to be your test case. Only if you wear those sexy as hell glasses and a lab coat. And bring a really big paddle.”
“Jesus. I think my inner child is blushing.”
“No, she’s not. You love it. You’re every bit as bad as I am. That’s why we’re so good together.”