Dear Steele (Love Letters 6)

Sorry to be so heavy-handed. We’ve known each other for years, yet now that our feelings are in the open, I feel like we’re complete strangers. I don’t know anything about what you want in the future. I don’t even know what I want.

Do you want marriage and babies? Are you in the Navy for life? What do you see your future looking like?

It’s way too late for these thoughts. Maybe I should go to bed.

Enjoy your goodies.

Night,

Ava

Scratching my head, I’m not entirely sure what to think of her ramblings, but I know exactly what my future holds, and she’s a part of it.

Chapter 5

Ava

Dear Ava,

Anyone ever tell you that you overthink things? Because you are.

How about we start simple. Pretend like we’re complete strangers and go from there. Might help take the pressure off.

Hey! I’m Steele Carter, 29 years old from Los Angeles, California. Currently, a Naval lieutenant based out of San Francisco. I’m a Navy man for life. Joined the day I turned 18 and haven’t looked back. I plan to remain in Intelligence for as long as I’m able.

I aspire to have a family. Wife, as many children as she’ll give me, dog, white picket fence. I want it all, and I won’t stop until I get everything I desire.

What else?

I have a sister who is kind of a witch and turned on her best friend after finding out the boy she was crushing on was interested in the other girl. Now, when I say turned into a witch, I mean she went full-on The Craft witch darkness. Even though the other girl had no idea about the boy. Not excusing the behavior, but at least we know the reason.

I just received word that I’ll be getting some leave soon, and who knows, maybe by the time my next letter is due to you, I’ll be there instead.

Tell me everything you want, Ava, even the little things.

Steele

Blowing out a deep breath, I reread his letter. He didn’t run; I thought he would. I thought maybe he’d feel pressured into returning my feelings or have to pretend to, and I wanted to give him an out with all my heavy talk.

It didn’t work.

Instead, he reciprocated every sentiment I expressed and so much more. He shared with me his dreams that match my own; in fact, he revealed far more than I imagined he would.

Learning about Heather eases some of my misery. For a long time, I struggled with her rejection. All the hurt she brought me and never understanding why was awful.

Staring at the bo

oks on my desk, I debate whether to write him back right now or finish studying; it’s a no-brainer. Steele holds far more of my attention than the anatomy books that overwhelm me.

Taking another gulp of my coffee, I begin writing. Responding to him about everything he’s asked of me and what I think of everything he’s said.

I even get brave enough to ask him to Skype with me when we can make the time work. I have no idea where he is, only that my letter has to be rerouted from his base to get to him.

I’m giddy as I sign the letter and slip it into an envelope. I’m still so young, yet I’ve always felt much older, which makes me feel silly because the worst thing to happen to me is my parents divorcing. But then I remember how often I was left on my own to raise myself.

With a sigh, my thoughts circle the drain as I avoid studying. Becoming a teacher has been a life-long goal, but I can’t seem to focus for longer than a class.

Flopping back on my bed, I imagine a future where Steele and I work out. One where we have children and get our happy ending. We’re a family. A real one, too, not one like mine where it was all for show.