“I don’t want anyone else to find you attractive. If the rest of the world is too stupid to see how undeniably gorgeous you are, that means I get you all to myself.”
“Even if I can’t, yet I mean…”
Reaching across the table, I take her hand, reminding myself to be gentle. There’s so much tension in me I feel like I might snap.
“You’ll be ready sooner than you think.”
I almost tell her that her body needs mine as badly as mine needs hers, but I know that would only lead to questions.
She snatches her hand away, breathing shakily. “I want to believe you.”
“I swore, Kyra.”
She bows her head, her eyes glassy. Is she going to cry?
I bite down. The last thing I want to do is cause her pain.
“Kyra, what is it?”
“I’ve been promised things before. And it all turned to shit.”
“Tell me.”
“I thought you were the one who was going to explain a few things today.”
“If something’s bothering you, I need to know,” I say, tone firm.
She grips the edge of the table, the menu forgotten, gazing down as though she’s peering into the past. “It was when I was a kid. After my parents… after the car crash.”
She swallows, my chest clamping in sympathy. I can see how difficult this is for her to talk about.
“It’s okay,” I murmur.
“There was this couple. They fostered me for a few weeks, and then they said they wanted to keep me, to adopt me. I loved them so much. It was a long time ago and it’s difficult to remember it all. I was so young. But I remember loving them. I remember believing him, Mark when he told me.”
“Told you what?”
She sniffs back a sob. “When he told me they were going to file for adoption, he sat me down and gave me this big speech. He said he understood that I’d been through a lot. He understood I might find it difficult to believe him. But they promised they were always going to take care of me. He promised I’d always have a family with them. He sounded so convincing.”
A get a bad feeling as she continues her story. “What happened next?”
Her eyes meet mine, and a single tear slides down her cheek. She swipes at it, as though angry for letting herself cry.
“Mark and his wife, Penny, their marriage began to fall apart. Looking back, I think one of them had an affair. I didn’t understand it at the time. All I knew was they were acting strange around each other. When they decided to separate, they sent me back to the orphanage… Mark was so upset, crying as he dropped me off, saying sorry over and over and over again. After that, no one else wanted me. I don’t know why. Maybe it was how I behaved, defensive, sort of expecting the worst, you know?”
“Kyra.”
I stand and walk around the table, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. She buries her face in my chest and begins to cry, soft at first, but then it’s like something bursts inside of her and the tears come harder.
Stroking my hands through her hair, I murmur whatever comforting words I can. I’m not sure how helpful I’m being as I tell her it’s okay. She can let it out. She doesn’t have to be afraid anymore.
“But you can see how it’s difficult to trust people, right?” she says.
“Of course, I can,” I say. “I don’t blame you even a little bit. All I can do is swear, Kyra, swear I meant what I said. I want you. I don’t want anyone else.”
“You want me for sex,” she mutters. “But what happens after?”
I kiss her on the forehead and return to my chair. The acid bitterness in her tone hits me hard. But she’s right to let her anger boil over.
As far as she knows, she’s right. I haven’t given her any reason to believe me otherwise.
“Since we’re sharing stories…”
I trail off when my throat closes up. It’s like there’s something inside of me, a force attempting to block my words. I’ve never spoken about this, except once with Jack, years ago.
“Kayden?”
She reaches across the table, curling her fingers around mine. I squeeze tightly.
“I told you I was an orphan.”
She nods.
“What I didn’t tell you is what happened to make me that way.”
I swallow again. This is harder than I thought it would be.
“I never talk about my feelings.” I laugh gruffly. “But I think I owe it to you. So you understand.”
She nods again, her grip reassuring and firm on my hand.
I lean back and take a deep breath, summoning my courage, feeling more in danger than I did when I was fighting overseas.
I’d prefer a gunfight to this. But my woman deserves the truth.
Opening my eyes, I force the words out of my mouth.