“He didn’t force me,” I assure her.
“I’m not saying that. I saw you. I know you were a willing participant. What I’m saying is that it would be hard for a nun to say no to a man like Holden.”
When the Uber pulls up to our building, Autumn steps out of the car and holds her hand out for me. I take it, letting her help me stand. I only had two drinks. I’m not drunk, at least not on alcohol. Lust drunk, most definitely.
“Are you going to see him again?” she asks as she pushes open the front door to our apartment.
“No. Both incidents have been a coincidence.”
She nods. “Maybe, but it could be fate.”
“Come on, Autumn,” I say, plopping down on the couch. “You can’t really believe that.”
“Think about it. With your family’s connection to baseball, and your love of the game, you were bound to date a player. Not to mention, I’ve heard you comment more than once about how hot he is.”
“That’s not fate. That’s genetics. Yes, he’s hot. Scorching. I do love the game, and my family does have a strong connection to baseball, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fall in love with a baseball player.”
“Paisley did.”
“I’m not my sister.”
“You’re not, but you are attracted to him. Think about it, Parker. He’s your hall pass.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “I was hoping you’d forgotten about that drunken conversation.”
“I was tipsy at best, and yes, I remember. I’m your best friend. It’s my job to remember.”
“So what? He’s my hall pass? That’s all make-believe. Everyone knows that it never happens in real life.”
“It’s happening to you.”
“No. It’s not happening to me. I met him, we danced a few times, and that’s that.”
“You were practically fucking him on the dance floor, and let’s not forget about that kiss.” She gives me a pointed look.
“Trust me. I’m not forgetting about the kiss. I’m not forgetting any of it, and I doubt that I ever will.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“Just because I think he’s probably the hottest guy I’ve ever met and kisses like he was made to do nothing but, I know his reputation. I’m not risking my heart. Besides, he’s a Tomahawk. I could never date a rival.”
Autumn tosses her head back in laughter. “You just keep making excuses, Parker. I’ll be here when you come to your senses to say I told you so.”
“Well, you’re going to be waiting a long time. I’m telling you it’s not going to happen. The chances of us being in the same place at the same time again are one in a million.”
Autumn holds out her hand, letting it hang in the air, waiting for me to shake. “I’ll take those odds, Monroe.” She winks.
“Stop.” I push her hand away, laughing at her antics.
“Parker, you could be his game changer.”
I suck in a breath at her words. Not because I believe them, but because I want to. However, growing up around the game, I’ve seen it. I know the guys on my dad’s team who were unfaithful to their wives, and then some never settled down, always ready and willing to play the field. I’m not sure which category Holden belongs in, but I’m pretty sure he’s not in the Easton Monroe category. He’s not that man who falls hard and fast and refuses to ever look at another woman. That’s the man I want and the one I’ll willingly give my time to.
“I’m beat. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’m right behind you.” Autumn and I both stand, and after making sure the apartment is locked up, we head to our rooms to crash for the night.
Once I’m in my room, I hesitate on whether I should shower. I need a shower. I’m hot and sweaty, but that means washing the smell of him from my skin. I know it was an isolated incident. I know nothing will come out of this, but I kind of want to hang on to the feeling a little longer. He might not be the man I want for my forever, but Autumn was right. Holden Bailey is my hall pass, and he had his hands and his mouth all over me. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime, okay, well, twice-in-a-lifetime kind of thing, and I’m not ready to let go of it just yet. Instead, I settle for washing my face before changing into my pajamas and sliding under the covers.
Closing my eyes, I replay every detail of my night. I squirm under the covers, remembering the feel of his strong hands romancing my body. And the kiss, the way he consumed me, it’s all I can think about. The need for release is strong, but I refuse. It wouldn’t be the same anyway. Besides, Holden is taking up enough space in my head as it is. I don’t need him to be what I see when I handle my own pleasure in the dark of night. Instead, I force him out of my mind and roll over, willing myself to fall asleep.