___
Calvin orders my dinner, and then he orders dessert.
It feels like I’m being tested in some way. He told me he wanted me to relinquish control to him, but I don’t think I entirely understood the scale of it.
I’m starting to think his only reason for not letting me have my phone is that I keep asking for it. Originally, I thought he was worried I would appeal to someone for help. I think I’ve had his motives and concerns confused, so I’ve been trying to solve this problem in ways that will never work with him.
I resolve to spend the rest of the night trying to do things his way. I don’t want to be his prisoner. I don’t want to be his girlfriend, either, but if those are my only two options, one is clearly preferable to the other.
So, I ignore the notion that it’s mental and start treating him like I would a boyfriend I picked out for myself.
I thank him for dinner after he pays because I like when a first date doesn’t ask me to chip in. I know this isn’t actually our first date, but I’m treating it like it is.
When we exit the restaurant and stop on the sidewalk, I reach over and take his hand.
His gaze darts to me, almost startled. He didn’t expect that.
I smile.
He won’t expect this, either.
Then I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him.
I don’t always kiss on the first date and I never initiate, but on a typical first date, there’s no chance in hell he would have already been inside me multiple times, either.
This isn’t a typical anything, so I throw out the rulebook and navigate the whole night by instinct alone.
Once Calvin recovers from his surprise, he slides his arm around my waist and locks me against his body. A jolt of excitement shoots through me at the rough way he grabs me, then blossoms into warmth when his free hand comes up to caress my face.
He looks happy when he gazes down at me, and I really like knowing it’s a direct result of my actions.
I want things to keep going well, so I swallow nervously before I speak. I’m so unsure in these waters, I don’t know if my next words will rock the boat or not. “Can we walk to the theater? It’s not far from here, and I love walking through the city. With traffic, it would probably take just as long in the car.”
I watch his face carefully and pay close attention to his hands on my body to see if there’s any shift to indicate displeasure. There’s not, so I guess maybe that was okay.
Then he eliminates any hint of doubt when he says, “Of course. I’ll just text Hollis to let him know.”
Chapter Thirty Three
Hallie
I feel strangely accomplished and can’t hold back a smile as Calvin pulls out his phone to text Hollis.
I got my way, and all I had to do was ask sweetly. I file that information away for later, but I’m not sure I even need to. I’m acting on instinct, so if my instincts are leading me in the right direction, maybe the key is not overthinking it.
I stand there rocking on my heels and passively gazing at the tourists sitting on a bench across the street until he’s done. He puts his phone away immediately, and I loop an arm around his to keep him close as we walk. This part of West 52nd isn’t that busy, but that changes when we reach the light and have to turn.
As we’re walking, I point out the Ray’s Pizza across the street. “That’s the first place I ever ate in the city.”
He glances at the walk-in pizza place, then back at me. “Oh yeah?”
I nod. “Not even because it’s famous. I didn’t know that. My first trip here was with my mom. I’ve wanted to live in New York City since I was a little girl, but my mom is so not a city person. We only lived a couple of hours upstate, but we never visited. Well, after my stupid first love I told you about took a sledgehammer to my heart, I was miserable. Mom wanted so badly to make the hurt go away. Of course nothing could, but she knew how much I had always wanted to come here, so she got the idea to surprise me with a weekend trip to the city.” I smile at the memory of my first time walking these streets. “Since she had never been here herself, there was a lot she was unprepared for. Traffic getting into the city, first of all. We left the house two hours before we were supposed to check in because she didn’t want to get here early and not have anywhere to put our luggage, but then we ended up sitting in traffic at the tunnel for about 30 years, so by the time we got checked in and settled into our room, it was dark.”