“Not by me,” I object. “This was never supposed to be forever. I didn’t agree to that. You said I had to stay until you were done with me, you never said it would be a life sentence.”
“You’re pregnant,” he says, as if I haven’t spent nearly every moment since finding out agonizing over the fact. “It can’t be temporary anymore.”
I shake my head miserably. I want to argue, tell him it can, that we can work something out, but I know it’s not true. Anything we tried to work out would always fall in his favor. Do I really want that? What if he did give up on me and meet someone else? I don’t see him casting aside the child we made together, but I could absolutely see him deciding he doesn’t want to share him or her with me anymore.
Cold seeps into me, deep down in my bones.
What would he do to me if I no longer fit into his life? If I were a hindrance instead of the object of his desire? He’s a bully at the heart of it. He has good looks, nice manners, and polished ways, but he’s tenacious with what he wants and doesn’t let anyone stand in his way.
But it’s not fair.
I shouldn’t have to give in just because he won’t give up. Especially not with stakes like these.
I had dreams, and he’s stealing all of them.
I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes. I know he can see the tears welling up, and he knows they’re because of him.
I don’t say it to hurt him, I say it because it’s true. “I don’t want to marry you.”
His voice is almost compassionate, as if he’s capable of such a thing. “I know.”
The tears touch the rims of my eyelids and I blink, trying to keep them from falling. “I don’t want… any of this.”
He’s silent for a moment, then he says more solemnly, “I know.”
Chapter Thirty Nine
Hallie
The bedroom is dark, but I can’t sleep. My skin is still sticky with perspiration after the long goodnight pounding I just got. I’m naked, but I don’t even care.
Lack of clothing is the least of my problems.
I look over at my left hand, the enormous diamonds weighing my finger down. I look past them at the man—my fiancé—who won’t let me go. He’s entirely indifferent to how much I don’t want him, and I don’t understand it.
He rolls on his side so he can look at me,
“Can we get a shag rug for the living room?”
“Of course,” he answers. “Whatever you want.”
I nod. It’s not much, but I take my wins where I can get them. “I like shag rugs.”
He cracks a smile. “Then you’ll have them in any room you like. If there’s anything you don’t like in the house, just let me know and I’ll get rid of it.”
It’s mean, but I crack a smile. “What about you?”
He’s not offended. His eyes glitter with amusement. “I’m afraid that’s the one thing that has to stay.”
“Damn.”
He reaches over and slides his arms around me, then hauls me up against his muscular body. He drapes me on top of him like a blanket, then smiles faintly like he’s content.
I’m too tired to keep my head up, so I rest it on his firm chest. “Did you want children?” I ask.
His gaze drifts up as if he has to consider the question. “I’m not sure. I guess I hadn’t decided. It wasn’t a must-do for me, if that’s what you mean. I suppose I figured if I met the right woman someday, she would probably want a child, but I didn’t expect to find a right woman, either. I was open to it, but it seemed unlikely,” he concludes. “You?”
I nod. “Yeah, I wanted children. I grew up as an only child, so I wanted to have at least two. Maybe even four, if I was really feeling ambitious.”
“Four?” The number startles him. “Well, as an only child myself, I can safely say four was never on my list, but I’m not opposed if that’s what you want.”
I crack a smile. “I didn’t say I wanted to have four children with you.”
“I’m afraid I’m your only option.” We already covered that today, so he doesn’t dwell on it. “I thought you had a sister. Georgia, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. She’s my half-sister, though, we didn’t grow up together. We didn’t meet until we were adults. I mentioned that my dad left my mom and moved to Chicago when she was pregnant with me? Well, Georgia’s mom was in Chicago.”
“Ah. Affair, or…?”
“I’m not sure. Some sort of fuckery, it messed my mom up. She was raised in a pretty devout household, so having a kid when you weren’t married wasn’t something they were psyched about, but then to be left pregnant and alone…” I shake my head. “Wasn’t great. She was heartbroken and kind of left to fend for herself.”