CHAPTER 20
My lips part but I’m too terrified to scream. Hunter, able to sense my emotions, comes running into the kitchen. He bumps my hand with his wet nose, and I blink.
There’s no blood in the snow.
Ross and Rachel are near the gate, eating what’s left of the hay. Sundance is pawing at the ground, trying to find grass under the snow, and I can still see Mystery’s butt and tail from behind the barn.
“You okay?” Ethan says, floor creaking under his feet. “Hunter took off.”
I put my head in my hands and inhale. On the verge of tears, I squeeze my eyes closed and let out a breath. “I’m going crazy, Ethan.”
“You’re not,” he assures me and takes my hands in his. “What happened?”
“I was looking out at everyone in the pasture and then suddenly they were all dead. Are they dead?” I start trembling as the words leave my lips, not able to trust anything I see right now. Ethan looks out the window. “They’re alive. I see all four of them. Want to go check?”
“Probably.” I pull my hands out of Ethan’s and go to the panty, getting the whiskey from the top shelf. I pour big splash in my empty water glass and take it like a shot. Shuddering, I pour in another splash and suck it down again.
“Slow down, babe, you’re gonna get sick.” Ethan takes the whiskey from me. “If you want to do shots, let me get the tequila. And not the cheap stuff we used for margaritas.”
Putting both hands on the countertop, I try to focus on the way the cool granite feels under my hands. It’s real and it’s here. I’m not crazy.
One of Ethan’s hands lands on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, Anora. I feel like shit about it.”
“It’s not your fault.” I shake my head and open my eyes. “There wasn’t much to go on before and even now…now there’s still not much.”
“We’ll figure it out,” he promises.
I whirl around. “What if it’s not her? What if Claire has nothing to do with this and she really did just get hit with nauseousness as she was walking to our table. She could be pregnant and suffering from morning sickness for all we know.”
“And?” Ethan asks patiently, knowing I’m not done with my thoughts.
“And I’m just crazy.” I run my hands over my head. “You know my parents thought I was. I had to spend forty-eight hours at a psych hospital when I was sixteen. It was protocol since I talked about killing myself. But it wasn’t me. I was channeling the spirit of a teenage girl who did kill herself.”
I bring my hand to my chest, feeling my heart hurt at the thought. “She was so sad. So broken. She was gone before I knew her, but my god I wanted to help her. So much so I let her in.” My eyes fall shut, thinking back. “Her name was Karlee and she lived a tragic life before she took her own.” I let my hand fall to my side and open my eyes. “I tried to tell my parents I was just telling them what Karlee wanted the world to know, but they freaked and took me in.”
“That had to be traumatic.”
“Well, yeah. Though I can’t blame them. I’d freak if my daughter told me the world was too harsh to live in. They didn’t understand, but what…what if they were right all along?”
“You’re not crazy, Anora. If you are, then I am too.”
I blink several times. “What if we’re both in a mental hospital just making this up?”
“Really?” Ethan gives me a look. “And hey, even if we are, at least we’re in together. And we can have make up us having sex again, right?” He flashes a cheeky grin that I return with a dubious stare. “You’re not crazy,” he presses. “Not at all.” He pulls me to him and I feel better once I’m pressed against his firm chest. “Whatever is going on, we’re going to face it together, okay?”
“Okay.” I let him hold me for a long moment. “Can we go check on the horses? And maybe sleep in the barn tonight?”
“I’d rather you bring them all in the house. It’s cold.”
I tilt my head up, looking him in the eye. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“I was joking, Anora. Though I am honestly a little surprised Mystery hasn’t walked through the door yet.”
I smile, feeling a bit of the tension leave. “He totally would. But then he’d spook and knock into something, and then spook again…it wouldn’t end well.”
Ethan takes my hand and leads me to the back door. We put on our coat and boots and go outside, making sure everyone is safe. For good measure, I return with everything I need to cast a circle of protection on the pasture. It should make me feel better, but it doesn’t.