I was completely distracted and being rude to the guy who’d approached me. Thankfully, Jasmine and Tanya saved me by asking if I wanted to head to the bar. When I told the guy I’d see him later, he looked disappointed, so I’d probably lost the moment. But maybe it was for the best.
“You okay?” Jasmine asked me once I took a hearty sip of my beer.
“Yeah, why?” My eyes were still planted on the dance floor, where Elliot and the guy were now grinding against each other.
“You keep watching Elliot,” she said, and I felt my cheeks flush. “Are you worried about him? The guy seems innocent enough.”
“Nah, it’s just that we usually give each other signals if we want to be saved.”
“That’s really cute. Kellan and I used to do that,” she said, glancing toward Kellan. When I spotted him and Brady lip-locked on the dance floor, desire flooded my belly. According to Jasmine, Brady didn’t know he was gay until he laid eyes on Kellan, and it’d hit him like a ton of bricks. I’d always known I wasn’t straight, and Elliot had pretty much said the same, so it only amplified that everyone’s experience was different. But Kellan and Brady had found each other, and though I didn’t have flowery ideals like that, I did hope to meet the love of my life earlier in life rather than later. In the meantime, just being with anyone sexy and safe would feel good. Those were my minimum standards at the moment. And yet, for some reason, I’d walked away from a potential hookup just now.
“Does it feel strange not to live with Kellan anymore?” I asked Jasmine, rubbing at a stitch in my chest.
“Sort of?” She looked at me funnily. “But I always knew we’d eventually go our separate ways.”
Why didn’t that sit right with me? God, I was being weird.
I watched the dance floor through another song, sipping my drink, trying not to stare at Elliot and the guy kissing his neck. Personal space, please.
“He doesn’t look like he needs any saving,” Jasmine said with a laugh.
I forced a smile. “Nope, totally doesn’t.”
That was when the same guy from before found me again, and I supposed I should’ve been flattered. Normally I didn’t have that kind of luck.
“You don’t look like you do either,” Jasmine said in my ear, then waved as Tanya dragged her toward the dance floor.
“How come you’re not out there again?” the guy asked.
“To be honest, I get tired easily, and my leg braces”—I motioned to my feet—“aren’t really made for hopping around. They’re just meant to help me with my balance.”
His eyes widened briefly before he reined it in. His reaction didn’t surprise me, and besides, I’d pretty much sprung that information on him. “Childhood defect?”
I winced at his word choice, but I knew it wasn’t malicious. “Latent neurological disorder that affects my legs.”
He frowned. “That sucks.”
I shrugged. “It did for a while, but now it’s just part of me.”
“I like that attitude,” he said with a tentative smile.
“Thanks.” We clinked beer glasses.
We talked some more, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. The truth was, I wasn’t into it, and I was having trouble putting my finger on why.
I set my empty glass on the nearest table. “I think I’m gonna take off. But it was nice meeting—”
“Can I walk out with you?” he asked.
“Um, sure.” I glanced toward the dance floor. “Just hang on.”
I caught Elliot’s eye, then motioned to him that I was heading home.
He hesitated, looking from me to my new friend, then tilted his head toward the guy he was dancing with and gave me a thumbs-up. Our signal for going our separate ways. I nodded and turned toward the exit, walking out with the guy.
“Want me to take you home? I’m parked right over there,” he said, and I wavered. What was wrong with me? He was cute and nice to talk to, so why couldn’t I make that leap?
“I’m sorry, I’m just gonna…” I motioned to my phone to call a car service.
“No worries.” He held up his hands as he walked backward toward the curb. “Didn’t hurt to ask. Have a good night.”
The cool air felt good on my skin as I waited for my ride. When I got home, I felt both relieved and all kinds of strange. I couldn’t even jack off, I was so confused. I hunkered down in bed, trying and failing to fall asleep, so I scrolled through my phone for a while, catching up on social media. I considered posting about the challenges of leg braces and dancing, then thought better of it. Maybe tomorrow.
I held my breath when Elliot arrived home about an hour later, wondering if I’d hear two voices. Instead, there was only one distinct and familiar set of footsteps padding into the bathroom, and when I felt the solidness of him as he slipped inside my sheets, warmth filled my stomach.