Kiss and Cry

“Feels so good. People think you’re so uptight, but you fuck like a—a—I don’t know, but it’s amazing.”

I had to laugh, and Theo gasped, looking back at me. Jerking his cock frantically, he rasped, “Smile! Keep smiling.”

He tightened around me, coming as he watched me smile, the pressure around my shaft white hot. After a few more pumps, I released too, filling the condom, stars filling my vision as I shook and spilled, my fingers digging into Theo’s hips.

We collapsed in a sticky, slick heap on the carpet. Softening inside him, I nuzzled the back of Theo’s neck, tasting salt as I pressed kisses to his damp skin. He mumbled about how good it had been and how amazing I was, the sound of his endless talking so familiar now, a comforting hum of sound.

After a time, he elbowed my ribs. “I know you’re not listening.”

“Hmm?” I had to smile as I kissed his shoulder.

He huffed. “You’re lucky I—” Theo broke off, tensing beneath me.

My heart skipped. I held my breath, unsure what he would say. What I wanted him to say.

On cue, Esmeralda’s demanding meow broke the silence, and we untangled, the moment passing. In a few days, we’d be apart for almost the rest of January attending our national championships before we traveled to Calgary.

Though part of me burned to know what Theo had almost confessed, it was best unsaid.

Chapter Fifteen

Theo

“It really is the last thing I expected.”

I tore my gaze from Henry where he dozed across the aisle, leaning on the cheap airline pillow stuffed against the window. Beside him, Bill snored open-mouthed, Giselle on the aisle watching a movie. I blinked at Manon in the middle seat to my left.

“What?” I murmured. Our flight to Calgary had left Toronto at the crack of dawn, and many people were napping.

Manon flipped through a fashion magazine. Beside her, an assistant coach restlessly tapped the screen in the seat back, scrolling through music. Manon said, “You and Henry.”

Boom. My pulse zoomed. “What?”

“You think we can’t see the way you look at each other? Henry is worse, I’ll grant you. But you aren’t as clever as you think.” She turned another page. “You’ve been watching him sleep for an hour.”

“I have not!” I shifted, resting one ankle on my other knee. My foot jiggled, my striped socks bright. I’d taken off my boots and shoved them under the seat in front with my Olympic team coat. There was hardly any legroom. Maybe if I got up to walk the aisle, Manon would drop it.

She shot me a look Henry would probably describe as “baleful.” Or maybe “withering”? I wasn’t sure. The point was that Manon was calling bullshit.

Sighing, I whispered, “Me either.”

“Neither of you need this distraction. You know that.”

“We know. That’s why as of today, it’s off. Well, on hold. We’re all business from now on.”

“Mmm.” She pinned me with her assessing gaze, and I automatically sat up straighter and thought about the walnut between my shoulder blades. “As of today.”

“Uh-huh. We made an agreement. A plan. We need to focus on the competition. You know we’re both doing the short program in the team event later this week. It’s time to concentrate a hundred percent on skating.”

“And you think you’ll be able to just—” She made a flicking motion with her finger. “Turn off your feelings? Like nothing?”

“We made a plan,” I repeated.

Sure, the five hours and nineteen minutes since we’d last kissed felt like an eternity, but this was the plan. We’d had to get up in the middle of the night to get to the airport, so we’d barely slept.

There’d been kissing and having sex and then more kissing and more sex and cuddling with Esmeralda and dozing and then having sex one last time.

For now. One last time for now. Because the thought of that actually being the last time was unbearable.

Manon narrowed her gaze. “And you think it’ll be so easy for Henry? Maybe you don’t care, but Henry’s different.”

It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. I shrugged and smiled since that’s what everyone expected. Actually? Screw that. I dropped the fake expression and whispered, “I care too. I do.”

Her face softened, and she briefly squeezed my hand. “I know. I just worry.”

“We’re fine. We’re great! We’re focusing on doing our jobs. And then…” What? That was the question. “One thing at a time.”

“All right. We expect your best. You’ve both worked too hard to throw away your shot for a fling.”

I wanted to argue it was more than a fling, but… Was it? “Well, now that song’s going to be stuck in my head.”

“Bon.” Apparently satisfied, Manon returned to her magazine, and I pointedly did not watch Henry sleep. For a few minutes. He was beautiful, and this would be my last chance for a few weeks. And even though my ass twinged from riding him hard this morning, I imagined one more time.