Kiss and Cry

His gaze shot to mine, his mouth going tight. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay. Cool.” This was the part where I was supposed to let it go. If he wanted to tell me he’d tell me, and he didn’t, so that was fine. Cool, cool, cool. Yep. All good.

Except why didn’t he want to tell me? What was the deal? Why had they both acted so weird? Maybe there were a million things Henry didn’t want to tell me, and this was just one more.

Although it made me think of when we’d talked about sex, and there was definitely something there in his past. A…shadow. Which he’d said he didn’t want to tell me about. And I’d let it go! I respected that. It was his choice. I’d never want to pressure him.

But why won’t he telllllll meeee?

“So, Anton—”

Henry’s hand shot out to grip my arm through my parka. Then he shoved his fists into his pockets, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Please. Don’t.”

I nodded quickly. “Okay. I’m sorry. I won’t mention it again.” And I absolutely wouldn’t.

But that didn’t stop me from wondering.

Too soon, his suitcase appeared, and he had to join his teammates to get their bus. Henry glanced back at me. This was really it.

How was I going to sleep without him in my arms or spooned behind me, his breath tickling my neck and his lips brushing my cheek when he slipped out of bed way too early?

I reminded myself that it was only a couple of weeks, and there was no need to be so dramatic, Jesus. Henry half smiled at me—without teeth—nothing at all like one of his real smiles—and was gone.

Chapter Sixteen

Theo

The rice and beans at the Mexican restaurant are very good.

I reread Henry’s text again. And again. I’d replied with a lame “Cool, thx!” I wanted to say so much more. Every time he tried one of the international restaurants in the Village’s huge eating hall, he texted me a mini review.

The first time, I’d replied with a joke about him trying to make me fat, and he’d immediately responded:

Make sure you eat.

Waiting in the bowels of the practice arena, I scrolled back to that message. Henry was so good about eating healthy food and not junk, but he never seemed to feel deprived. It wasn’t a big deal to him the way it was to me. I’d replied with a winky face and:

Don’t worry, I love food way too much to starve myself.

Immediately, he’d responded again:

Make sure you eat.

It was weird how those four words made me stupidly happy.

I missed our dinners in his condo so much. I missed Henry’s matching pajama sets and watching HGTV while we iced our aches. I missed Esmeralda and hoped she wasn’t too lonely even though the cat sitter hung out for a bit every day. I mean, she wasn’t my cat, so I shouldn’t have really been worrying about her, but I did.

“Group B! Ready in five,” a volunteer announced.

Manon and Bill were out with Henry now. The short program of the team event was tonight, and we were both competing. My teammate—and roommate in the Village—Justin Lee would be doing the free skate.

I didn’t want to blow my wad in the team event, and it was unlikely we’d beat Russia for gold even if I did both programs. We were solidly going to take the silver medal unless we imploded, and this way Justin would get a medal too. But doing the short was a great warm-up for the real thing.

Not that a team event medal wasn’t real. I had a bronze from the last Games, and it had been really fun. But it just wasn’t the same as an individual medal. It would make more sense to have the team event after the individual events, but it all came down to what the TV networks wanted and their ratings.

The opening ceremony was tonight, and it was weird to be trying to focus on competing this afternoon, but whatever. I’d crush my short and then get to have fun and—

On cue, a text from my mom appeared:

I want you to rest tonight. You went to the opening ceremony four years ago. You don’t need to go again. You have to focus. Sakaguchi probably isn’t going. He’s jumping well. Too well.

Actually, he was going, but I didn’t tell her that. I asked:

How’s his quad Lutz?

She replied insanely fast:

TOO GOOD. The best it’s looked.

Luckily, she couldn’t see my grin. I didn’t reply, jogging around the concrete holding area. The other four guys in my group, including Kuznetzov, stretched and listened to their headphones, getting in the zone.

I know you ate pizza yesterday. Do you even care about winning???

I shut off my phone and shoved it in my bag. She probably had the workers at every restaurant in the Village on her spy payroll. So I’d had one piece of pizza! I’d eaten seared salmon and a big salad for lunch. I’d exercised for hours later, and the pizza had smelled amazing.