“We’re in Vegas, A.”
“Good point.”
“And I’m me.”
“Which makes it easier. I can see that. You are pretty hot,” Alex teased, and my stomach flipped.
“Very hot.” I walked over and pressed a loud, smacking kiss to his forehead. “You probably want to spend some time with your future husband before you get married tomorrow, anyway.”
Married. Alex was getting married. Christ, this was making me experience all sorts of weird, confusing shit.
“Caden?” Alex said as I opened the balcony door to get back into his hotel room.
“Yeah?” I didn’t turn around to look at him.
“I love you, man.”
Then don’t get married. Don’t change things. But that wasn’t fair, was it? Because I couldn’t give Alex what he deserved. Jackass apparently could. “I love you too.”
I left the room, but didn’t try to go get laid. Instead, I just walked around Vegas. It was hot as hell and busy, and I hated being there, but I couldn’t handle going back to the hotel either.
Part of me felt I was acting childishly, freaking out because someone was going to take my best friend away from me, like Alex belonged to me, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t be pouting and losing his mind if I were the one getting married.
“I’m in love with you, ya know?”
“Shut up.” I chuckled and shook my head. “You’re drunk.”
“Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’ve always felt.” Alex shrugged. “Anyway, just thought you should know. I’m gonna take a shower and jack off before bed.”
I closed my eyes, tried to get the memory of Alex’s twenty-first birthday out of my head. We’d been in Portland, where we’d gone for college. I’d turned of drinking age two months before him. It had been his first time in a gay bar. Well, both our first times, but I’d only been there for him. Alex had two plans that night—getting drunk legally, and getting laid. He’d done both a hundred times since we’d left home, but going out to drink was different, and meeting up with someone at a club to take them home was too.
He’d been hit on a lot. Apparently, all the boys wanted what Alex had to offer, but he hadn’t hooked up with anyone. Instead, we returned to our apartment, and Alex told me he was in love with me, then went into the shower to blow his load.
I didn’t know if it was true, if Alex had been in love with me, but for the first time in my life, I’d wondered if maybe there was a way it could work. I mean, we got along great and knew each other as well as we knew ourselves…but then I figured that was just me being…well, selfish. I didn’t like that Alex was something I wasn’t. That there was this part of him I couldn’t share with him. That other men got to have him in ways I couldn’t. Which probably made me a bit of a dick, but at least I was an honest dick.
An honest dick who maybe felt a little brokenhearted and didn’t know what it meant, or if he had the balls to try and figure it out.
Chapter Three
Alex
I was getting married. Today. As in a few hours and…I thought maybe I should be feeling more…something about it. Excited? Eager? Nervous? Like I was taking a step toward the future I’d always wanted?
Instead, I just was. I went through the motions, kept myself busy, and didn’t feel much of anything at all.
Caden had been gone most of the day before, but he’d come back when he was supposed to for the rehearsal and dinner. He’d smiled, and made everyone laugh, and as my best man, made sure he took care of anything I needed. He was even pretty cool with Jack. He didn’t whisper jackass to me, not even once.
He’d been the same this morning, running around like crazy to make sure there weren’t any catastrophes, going on Starbucks runs, and even getting me a new razor when I realized I’d left mine at home. Caden was doing his part, as were my family and everyone else, and yet, here I was, sitting in the room where I was supposed to be getting ready, just down the hallway from the ballroom where I’d be getting married, and I suddenly felt really fucking sick to my stomach.
What the hell were we doing in Vegas? I didn’t even like the city all that much, and I was too cheap to gamble. Why did I agree to get married here? And why was I freaking out about this now?
“Knock, knock,” Caden said, sliding the door open a couple of inches. “Are you decent?”
“Yeah.” I pushed out of the seat and walked over to where I’d hung my tux. I would be fine. I could do this. I wanted to get married. I liked Jack a lot. He was fun and sexy, and we got along well and wanted the same things—to settle down and get married and work our stable jobs in tech.