“I’m interested in you.”
I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me. “I’m a guy, Caden. That’s not how it works.”
He jerked away. “I know. Fuck, you think I don’t know that? I’m freaking the fuck out, here, A. All I know is I’ve been feeling…weird about things for a while, possessive over you and hurt when you were with others and…like I said, tonight I kept thinking that you’re my husband and I should have been the one out there dancing with you.”
Finally I turned around, faced him. I could see the fear and panic in his eyes, but…there was something else there too. Something that looked like desire. “Did you like it? Kissing me?”
“I liked it so much, I ache to do it again.”
His response stole my damn breath. I didn’t know what to do, what to think. This would likely backfire big-time. There were so many reasons why I shouldn’t consider this…but it was Caden.
“I want you, Alex. I think maybe a part of me has known for a long time. I just didn’t know how to admit it to myself, didn’t know how to dig it out from that place I buried it the night I saw you with Bentley, because part of me knew then—that you were mine. That it would always kill me to see you with someone else. I don’t know what that means for us. I don’t know what I can offer you, and that makes me feel like a dick. It would break my heart to hurt you.”
It hit me then, the reminder that I’d spent every day since I was sixteen years old wanting to hear this from Caden. Wanting a chance with him. And now that I had it, I was going to throw it away? It would kill me when his curiosity was over, when he realized it was one thing not to want anyone else to have me, yet something else entirely to be with me himself, but I couldn’t spend my life wondering what if. What might have been possible if I’d just taken a chance. So this time, it was me who grabbed him, me who pulled Caden to me, taking his mouth with my own.
We didn’t have that initial freeze like the first time he’d kissed me downstairs. It was like we were running a race, like there was a stopwatch and at any second we’d be ripped from each other’s arms, so we had to gamble before it was too late.
It was a sensual battle of mouths and tongues. I couldn’t believe I was kissing Caden. That his hands were clutching my back, then twined in my hair as he made greedy sounds I drank down as if dehydrated.
“God, I can’t believe we’re doing this,” I said as I kissed my way down his throat. “Please tell me you’re okay, that you don’t need to stop.”
“You stop and I’ll kill you.” Caden shoved his hands under my shirt, dug his thumbs into my abs, massaging as he explored my body. “Can we, um…lie down?”
“Fuck yes.” I took his hand and led him to the bed in our honeymoon suite. I was trying to be sweet and romantic, to take my time because this was a first for Caden and it was us, so I wanted it to be special. But he was him, so he had to be silly by tackling me to the bed. We started laughing as we were wrestling, each of us fighting for dominance, before we ended up with him on his back and me straddling him.
“Everything is always more fun when it’s with you.” Caden gave me a shy smile, so full of honesty and rare insecurity, it tightened his hold on my heart. How would I ever be able to stop this? What if it was a one-time thing, fucking around while we were on our honeymoon, and then he’d want to go back to normal? “What did I say wrong?” He cupped my cheek, caressed it.
“Nothing.”
“You’re in your head.”
“I’m about to be in you.” His pupils blew wide, making me laugh. “I’m giving you shit. I’m not going to try to fuck you. We can just kiss all night if that’s what you want. If you’re ready for more, I’ll blow you; want more than that, and you can fuck me. This is your rodeo, Caden.”
“My rodeo? Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in a bad Western? You’ve never said that in your life.”
“Stop changing the subject.”
“Kiss me.”
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I lay down on top of him, starting out with slow presses of my lips, licking at his, nibbling and sucking his earlobe before my tongue made slow sweeps of his mouth. Caden’s arms wrapped around me, surrounding me in his body heat, and when his legs fell open, I settled between them.