With deliberate tenderness and an almost pained look on his face, like it hurts to hold back, he reminds me, “You’re a virgin.”
“For now,” I agree. “I won’t be forever. Someone has to be my first, why not you?”
Cal sighs so faintly he probably doesn’t want me to hear it, but I can hear the regret anyway, and my hopes drop in response.
“Well, all right,” I say, trying to find a way not to feel rejected. “That’s okay. We can do other things. Whatever we want. No one’s going to know about this,” I add, since that’s probably part of his reluctance now.
Rather than let me go, he brings a large hand up to palm one of my breasts through my shirt. My stomach knots up with instant arousal, my head drifting back against his shoulder. “Someone could, though, couldn’t they?” he murmurs.
My eyes drift shut and I shake my head lazily as he pushes a button through and slides his hand underneath the soft fabric of my shirt. “They won’t,” I assure him. “If anyone starts to suspect anything, I’ll lie. We can be more careful.”
“You think that now.” His voice is so incredible, so deep and firm, like he’s in control and he knows so much more than I do. Just the timbre of his strong, sure voice sends a wave of languor washing over me. “You may not always feel that way, Noelle. What if I break your heart?”
“You won’t,” I murmur, with unreasonable confidence.
“I might.”
I frown, but it’s hard to hang onto any displeasure as his giant hand envelops my breast, kneading the soft flesh in the palm of his hand. It’s hard to focus on what we’re talking about when he touches me that way.
“Imagine the worst case scenario,” he continues, bringing his other hand around to finish unbuttoning my shirt.
“That we get caught?”
“No.” His voice is calm, reassuring, but I get the feeling he’s about to say something awful. “I find your charms a little too much to resist. I take you over to that bed,” he nods in the direction of his California king, “and obliterate every last bit of your innocence. I invade every hole, bend your body into a dozen different positions, fuck you six ways from Sunday, and fill that sweet untouched pussy full of my cum.”
“Oh my God,” I breathe.
“Would you like that?” he murmurs.
It feels like a trap, but I don’t even hesitate to lay down in it. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Sir,” I say quickly, sinking against him again. My heart is beating so fast, it’s beginning to take more effort to breathe normally. “Yes, Sir, I would like that so much.”
He stops lazily unbuttoning my shirt, letting his hand drift down to caress my ass. Tingles spread everywhere he touches and my knees weaken.
“It would hurt,” he tells me, releasing my breasts and trailing his fingers so lightly across my collar bone, I shudder.
“That’s okay.”
“It’s okay if I hurt you?” he murmurs, bending his head and pressing his incredible lips to my shoulder.
“Yes. I mean, you can’t help it. The first time—I know that would hurt.”
Still with that steady, leading tone, he kisses my shoulder and says, “It might hurt a lot. It might make you cry. Would you cry for me, Noelle?”
My heart thuds in my chest and I swallow, not entirely sure what I’m signing up for. “Yes.”
He nods, like I gave him the answer he expected. “And then afterward, after you opened yourself up and gave me all you had to give, what would you expect?”
An icy finger of uncertainty prods me, and I get the feeling I won’t like where this is going. He knows I won’t like it, too. He wants to say awful things and make me stop wanting him, because he knows if I want him, there’s a good chance he’ll give in.
And he calls me the coward.
Seeing through him before he’s even finished laying his trap, I stiffen my resolve and insulate my heart from what I know might be coming. “What do you mean?”
“Would you expect me to be satisfied with you? You, an inexperienced little girl I have to coax and teach every trick myself. Do you think you’d be enough for me?”