Mistletoe Kisses

My whole body stiffens and I try to pull away from him, but his arm locks around my waist, pulling me so tightly against his body, I’m practically on top of him. As the shock begins to fade and I realize Callan McLaren is kissing me, I stop trying to pull away and melt against him instead.

Cal releases my face, but only to slide his hand around to the back of my head, cupping it and trapping me in this kiss I have no desire to leave anyway. Heat courses through my body and I move my arm from his shoulder to around his neck, angling my head so I can reach him a little better.

His tongue moves to the seam of my lips, seeking entrance. I gasp against his mouth, suddenly overwhelmed as nerves all over my body light up with arousal. I open for him and nearly lose the ability to stand when his tongue sweeps into my mouth.

Oh my God. I was wrong, he doesn’t taste like coffee, he tastes like the most exhilarating blend of paradise and heartbreakingly bad decisions. If I could, I’d rip my clothes off right here in the middle of the sidewalk and make all the bad decisions, as long as it continued to feel this good.

I arch my body, trying to get closer to him as he invades my mouth. As his tongue moves against mine, sensually exploring in a way he never has before, all my pleasure centers light up and explode until I think I might pass out.

I’m weak when he pulls away, physically weak. My mouth feels the absence of him immediately, then the emptiness sinks lower and spreads through my insides.

I don’t know how he does this to me—how he rips out pieces of me he shouldn’t even be able to reach and leaves empty spaces I need him to fill. I was a whole person before he kissed me, just like I was a whole person last night before he stripped me naked and showed me all the missing things I had never known about before.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe he’s not creating empty spaces inside me, he’s just shining light on them, awakening them when before him they were dormant.

I swallow, looking up at him with the same vulnerability I felt last night. I sort of expect him to say something cruel and slice me open again, but I’m momentarily relieved when I see tenderness in his eyes and nothing malevolent.

Keeping me close, he caresses my jaw, then he leans down and kisses me again, but much more gently this time. He doesn’t awaken any new parts of me, just soothes the storm he conjured on a whim.

It’s mildly terrifying, the control he has over my heart, but it’s a little exciting, too. When he’s done tormenting me, will anyone else ever hold me like this? It’s hard to imagine. It feels like he’s molding me just for him, and no one else will ever fit me afterward.

He’s ruining me, and I want to let him.

“Kiss me again,” I murmur, just as he starts to pull away.

He slides his hand to cup the back of my neck, slanting his mouth over mine one more time. It’s another soothing, comforting kiss, and even though it’s less physically intense, I crave more of it. I never want it to stop. I want his lips permanently fused to mine.

I want him inside me, too, claiming all the parts of me that already belong to him.

Unfortunately, he stops kissing me, but still with that soft look in his eye that doesn’t make me nervous or defensive that he’s going to follow the intimacy with heartache.

I’m sure he will, but at least not right this second.

Cal presses his forehead to mine for a moment, as if stabilizing himself, then he reaches down and takes my hand.

“Are you hungry?”

I am, but right now I’m craving more of his kisses, not food. I’m craving more than that, too, and I wish I could control my stupid body and make it stop wanting him so badly.

Swallowing down all those admissions, I simply nod my head.

Cal nods, then—still holding my hand—walks me over to one of the horse-drawn carriages that hasn’t left yet. He releases my hand, drawing out his wallet, then he calls out, “Hey,” and gets the driver’s attention. “The Marymount Inn, you know where it is?”

The driver nods, looking at Cal’s wallet with interest. “Just down the road.”

Extracting a twenty dollar bill and holding it out, he says, “Mind dropping us off?”

The driver looks around as if to see if anyone’s paying attention, then he nods his head and reaches down to take the cash. “Sure thing. Hop in.”

I can’t help grinning as Cal pulls back the red blanket covering the seat and gestures for me to climb up into the carriage. I grab the sides and hoist myself in, then Cal climbs in, sitting beside me and settling the blankets over our laps.

Cal wraps an arm around my shoulder and hugs me into his side. I take advantage, snuggling into his warmth and sliding my arms around his core. A dam breaks down inside me and happiness flows over.

This is amazing.

“Want me to drive you around the square first?” the driver asks.

Before Cal can answer, I call back, “Yes, please.”