He doesn’t, though. Some of the tension eases out of him, and I get the distinct impression that asking will bring it back. As curious as I am, as much as I want to know Sin’s secrets, I probably don’t need to. This is all temporary, and with only a few days more to enjoy him, maybe it’s better to stay in the moment and leave the past where it belongs. Someday there will be a woman who gets to stay in his arms, but it won’t be me. I’m only a guest star in their world. Once more, I’m only vacationing amid the madness, sipping the tea and snuggling a dangerous, sexy companion—and once more, I don’t get to keep any of it.
I’m tempted to sink back into a pocket of sadness, but Sin brings me back to him, caressing my jaw with the back of his hand. “What are you thinking right now?”
I sigh. “I’m thinking about experiences. How it’s nice to collect them, but I’m wondering when I’ll ever get to keep any.”
“Why can’t you keep them now?” he asks.
“Because I keep wandering into places I don’t belong. All the experiences in my own life are boring, and I end up in these exciting new environments, but I don’t have a role there. I’m only there because someone has a temporary spot for me. It just feels like everything in my life is always temporary. I never get to keep anything for myself.”
“Sure you could,” he disagrees. “You just have to make that choice. That’s the difference between visitors and residents. One chooses to stay, one chooses not to.”
I shake my head, running over the sheer impossibility of staying in this one. Baby or no baby, Vegas is no place for me. I have my school back in Chicago, my sister back in Connecticut—and my brother-in-law isn’t allowed to come here, so I would never see the people who matter most to me. Sure, Carly would come visit me without him, but not all the time.
“That would be crazy and illogical,” I tell him.
“Everything is crazy and illogical if you’re looking at it from the wrong perspective.”
My lips curve up in a smile, and he runs his index finger across my mouth, tracing it. “Of course you would tell me my perspective is wrong. Yours is always right, isn’t it?”
At least he smiles before he says, “Always.”
“Maybe you should just make all my decisions for me,” I suggest.
His tone is light, for Sin, but I can’t dispute a hint of truth in his words. “Maybe I already do.”
I frown at him, but he runs his fingers over my brow and smoothes it out before pressing his lips to my forehead.
Taking my hand in his, he says, “Come on.”
I follow him, asking, “Where are we going?”
“To bed.”
Anticipation quickens my steps. “Already? But it’s so early. Whatever will we do to pass the time?” I tease.
“I bet we can think of something,” he tells me.
Are we actually going to have sex? Nerves tumble around in my tummy, but as soon as we get to his bedroom, he lets go of my hand and starts stripping off that belt. It’s only been a few nights, but each one he’s done that while watching me, and I’m starting to react like Pavlov’s dog. The sound of the leather moving through the loops of his slacks makes my stomach tighten with desire. Heat blooms in my cheeks as my gaze drops, waiting for him to show me more.
His voice startles me and I look back at his face. “Take your shirt off.”
My stomach does a little drop as he tugs his own shirt off. I’m drawn closer to him, like I’m a magnet and he’s the wall of metal I want to live on. As I move closer, his eyes warm, offering me wordless encouragement. While I still remember the order he just gave me, I reach for the hem of my shirt and drag it over my head. His gaze remains on mine when I first take it off, then he gestures to my pajama shorts.
Well, not my pajama shorts. The ones I’m borrowing from whomever all these clothes belong to. Before we have sex, I wonder if I should ask about that. I imagine Rafe would have told me if Sin had a secret wife or girlfriend tucked away somewhere. Instead, he left me with vague curiosities and baseless warnings.
He wouldn’t fuck me if he had someone, right? I don’t think he would, but I also don’t know whose clothes I’m taking off.
Sin watches me for a moment, his eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong?”
Forcing my attention back to the moment, I shake my head. “Nothing. Why?”
He’s still wearing his slacks, but since I haven’t done a good enough job undressing myself, I guess, he stops and walks across the short stretch between us. He steps behind me and I feel his hands settle on my bare shoulders again. Peace trickles through me, like his hands on my shoulders restore my balance. I look at my left shoulder, at his strong, scarred hand resting on my pale, unmarked flesh. I can’t resist the urge to lean over and press my lips against the back of his hand. I really, really like his hands. Every scar tells a story, a dirty, ugly story that would probably traumatize me, but they belong to him. He moves his hand across my collar bone and I bend my head to kiss it again. I still remember the taste of him on my tongue, the way he made me kneel naked on the ground for him, just so he could get a mental image of what Rafe taunted him with.
I never got to taste him from there. When I finally got a little taste, I was on the bed and he was in a hurry.
I want to worship every inch of him. I want to kiss every scar, run my mouth along every beautiful inch of his body.
He still hasn’t even kissed me. Those perfect lips of his have brushed my forehead, but I want to taste his lips. I want to feel his tongue sweep into my mouth while he drives his cock inside my body, stretching me to fit him.