Staying in Vegas (Vegas Morellis 1)

I’m bothered by the way he asks—not so much in the jealous way you might expect of a man lying in bed with you, asking about the day you spent with his rival for your affections. His tone is calm, but then I guess that’s probably better than an irate asshole who flies off the handle.

It’s just, I sort of feel like he has a right to be mad if I consented to going on a date with Rafe. I wouldn’t be lying here with him if I wanted someone else.

Seeking to reassure him even if he’s pretending he doesn’t need it, I say, “Nope. Casual touches, but he didn’t try to kiss me or anything like that.”

With a knowing nod, Sin says, “He will. He’s going to start coming after you hard.”

That makes my heart ache. I don’t want Sin to feel like he can’t trust me, or that Rafe is a threat to whatever we’re building here. It makes me feel even worse because of the conflicted feelings I had in the Grand Canyon, when even I got a little wobbly.

There’s no wobble now. I know exactly how I feel about Sin, even if I can’t always tell how he feels about me. Sin makes me feel free in a way I never have, understood in a way I didn’t even know I wanted. Lying here in each other’s arms like this, there’s nowhere else I would rather be. I need to reassure him—I want him to make me his. I want to see where this goes, because I love where it has gone so far.

Hooking my leg over his, I round up all my nerve and tell Sin, “So give him a reason not to.”

Sin meets my gaze. “What?”

“Right now he can come after me, right? Because I’m single. Because when I refer to us, I don’t know what to call it. Because he sees this as just a hook-up.”

I can’t read Sin’s expression, so I don’t know what he’s thinking. This is scary enough when you know the other person is on board, scary enough when you haven’t told yourself for days that your situation is okay because it is just casual, but what am I supposed to do? The way I feel for Sin isn’t going away. Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m agreeing to, and it could certainly be a mistake, but maybe Sin is right. Maybe if I want the role of a lifetime, I have to put my money where my mouth is. Maybe Sin is a gamble, maybe staying in Vegas is a horrible mistake, but I’ll never know if I don’t give it a shot.

Taking Sin’s hand and linking our fingers together, I meet his gaze, even though it terrifies me to do so. I hold on for dear life and make the leap. “Make me not single. Make me yours.”

Something like a smile tugs at the corners of Sin’s lips. He shakes his head slightly, then brings our entwined hands up to his lips so he can place a soft kiss on the back of my hand. “That wouldn’t make him want you less, Laurel. Rafe likes to chase what he can’t have. The higher out of his reach it is, the more appealing it looks to him. Thinking I want you is what took him from ‘get the fuck out of my town, I never want to see you again’ to pursuing you full-force in just a few days. I told you Rafe likes competition. I thought it went without saying he ultimately wants to win.”

“Well, it’s not up to him,” I point out. “It’s up to me. I’m not a prize, I’m a person. I’m not awarded to the best player; I go where I want, and I want to be with you.”

His words could be mean, but his tone is gentler than it usually is. “You barely know me.”

“I know enough,” I insist. “I know it’s a little crazy, but you’re the one that said fuck what people think, I should do what feels right. Well, this feels right. You feel right. More right than anything ever has. It doesn’t make sense, but maybe it doesn’t need to. Maybe I’m supposed to follow my heart instead of my head this time.”

Now he drops my gaze. “Laurel…”

My heart stops. That’s not the face of someone who is on the same page I’m on. Even logic tells me that the man who just had his face buried between my legs surely likes me, at least to some degree. But the hesitation in his tone causes my blood to run cold. Even though I’m confident he likes me, it doesn’t sound like he wants to keep me.

He has said too many things that led me to believe otherwise, so I can’t quite swallow that. Hell, he expressed interest in me despite me being knocked up by someone else. He said that wouldn’t be an issue for him, commented on my breasts growing like he would be there to see it.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Maybe that isn’t what his hesitation means. I don’t know how to ask, though. I’ve already put myself out there beyond what’s comfortable; the ball is sort of in his court now. I need something from him, but I have a sinking feeling I won’t get it.

There’s really no going back from here, is there? I can’t open my mouth and shove the words back inside. I can’t go on after asking to be his, knowing that’s not what he wants, and still be able to do the things I have done with him as recently as a few minutes ago.

If he shoots me down, that’s it. I don’t understand, I don’t know why, but if he doesn’t like me enough to date me when I like him enough to risk my whole world by staying here and seeing if we can build something together… well, that really tells me all I need to know, doesn’t it?

I despise the next words out of my mouth, but they spill out anyway. “Don’t you like me?” I ask it with a smile, hoping that will camouflage my vulnerability, but it only accentuates it.

His hand caresses my jawline, his eyes softening with something like regret. “Of course I like you, Laurel. You made me like you. But I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Well, I wasn’t supposed to like you either,” I tell him, stroking his arm as he caresses my face. “But here we are. I guess we’re just a couple of rebels. I say, let’s embrace it. Let’s run with it. I have a couple months to play with—school doesn’t start back until late August; that gives us plenty of time to see if this wears off. I love being with you. You haven’t even kissed me, and I’m already crazier about you than I’ve ever been about anyone. I know that’s a severely uncool thing to admit, but it’s true. I’m completely smitten. This is far from what I expected when I came here, but… I’m falling, Sin, and I only want you to catch me.”

My stomach hurts, but maybe your stomach is supposed to hurt when you go all-in.

Maybe it’s not the size of the bet that’s terrifying me, but the look on his face. There are no teammates in this game, only opponents. I made a wild bet on a few hastily drawn cards, but dammit, I have faith in them. I have faith in him. I have this strong feeling that I can have something magical with him, something I’ll never have with anyone else…

Only, right now, I’m not getting the feeling he wants the same thing. His hand drops from my jawline, easing around to cradle my head as he smoothly pulls me into his arms. This could be a safe place—in fact, it is, when Rafe does

it—but safe is the last thing I feel right now. This feels like comfort, like soothing, like an apology without all the noise. Leave it to Sin to apologize without a single word right before he breaks my heart.

“You’re not for me, Laurel.”

“I can be,” I insist.