“Guy’s a dick.”
I sigh, finish fixing Rafe’s drink, and walk away without responding.
In the months that have passed since that one awkward time Rafe fire
d him for no reason, I brought my favorite bartender back with a heartfelt apology. I even started cross-training him on the floor so he could pick up extra shifts, but Felix holds a grudge, apparently.
I’m feeling light and breezy on my way to Rafe’s table. It’s been a busy day, and I’m happy to see him. I know his family is coming in soon for Skylar’s big first birthday party, so I wasn’t sure if I’d be seeing as much of him this week.
When I saw Rafe walk in and flash me a smile, I immediately went to get his drink. I know his routine. Unless it’s Sunday and he’s here with Sin, Laurel and the kids, he comes in alone, so there’s no longer a need to go to his table first.
Maybe that’s why it seems like a boulder drops into my gut, like there are sandbags weighing down my legs, when I realize Rafe is not at the table alone tonight. I can see him sitting there with his arm stretched around the booth like he used to, and tonight…
Tonight there is a woman with long blond hair in the booth beside him.
My hand trembles around the glass and I struggle to draw a breath into my lungs. This is bad. I convinced myself I was over the romantic part of our relationship, and it was largely untested, because presumably out of respect for me, Rafe stopped bringing dates for me to serve.
But now…
There’s so much affection on his face looking at her. Oh, my God, is he dating someone? Maybe he hasn’t been bringing hook-ups in, but he has started dating someone for real, and nobody else wanted to break it to me. Maybe tonight he is bringing her here because it’s for real, and she’s here to stay, so it’s time for me to meet her.
I want to die.
I guess I should see what she wants to drink first.
Forcing my feet to move me forward, I make an effort to summon a smile to my face. I can do this. This is fine. I want Rafe to be happy. I don’t want him to be lonely. The way he’s looking at tonight’s booth girl, especially when he knows I might see… well, he must really care for her.
The spiteful floor does not open up and swallow me, so I remind myself how to do this. Usually I don’t have a problem being friendly to the girls, and if this one is here to stay, I certainly don’t want to be rude to her, but I can’t meet her gaze right now. I can’t do it. Keeping my gaze on Rafe, keeping my focus on his happiness, I’m able to muster a more convincing smile.
As soon as I open my mouth, though, I realize I’ve made a mistake. I say something like, “Hi, welcome to—or—Hi. Uh, can I get you a drink?”
Rafe cocks his head, regarding me with concern. “Did you just have a stroke?”
My heart is beating so hard, it almost hurts. I need to get away from this table. “Drink. Does—I brought you a drink.” I put it down in front of him, clearing my throat. I need to look at her, but I don’t want her face in my brain. I want the floor to open up and swallow her, if it won’t swallow me.
Get your shit together, Virginia.
I force my gaze up, keeping my smile in place. “And for you? Can I get you something to drink?”
God, she is beautiful. Blonde hair, blue eyes, her breasts are just—I can’t even focus on that right now. I shake it off and wait for her to peruse the drink menu.
I can’t stand here another minute, so she better hurry.
“I think I’ll just have ice water with lemon, if that’s okay.”
It’s a restaurant, Barbie, you can order whatever the fuck you want.
That is so unkind. I apologize to Rafe’s future wife in my mind, but I want to stab her, so I need to go. “Perfect,” I say, turning and sailing away before I do anything I’ll regret.
I make it to the bar, but barely. Felix filled my serving tray with all the drinks I asked him to make me, but I can’t deliver them right now. My body feels physically winded, like I just got the breath punched out of me, and I am so disappointed in myself. Even though the day never came, I figured it would, so I tried to mentally prepare myself for this. In my mind when Rafe brought a woman in again, I nailed it. Kept a smile on my face, managed to be polite, impressed her with my killer waitressing skills, even.
Turns out I just want to stab her.
This is not good.
I don’t know what to do.
With a concerned frown on his face, Felix walks over to check on me. “You okay?”