Why is he here?
He wrecked me. That man wrecked me. I don’t like admitting that, I don’t like thinking about it anymore, but dammit, he knows what he did. I left that broken-hearted girl behind, patched her up the best I could in the pages of a fantasy, and he has no right to show up now. What could he possibly have to say to me after six whole years?
He said I got to say my piece in a little under a thousand pages, but I only sent him the first book in my trilogy. It was 312 pages. That means he at least knows the other two exist, that he cared enough to look them up. Did he read them? God, that’s embarrassing. I sent him the first one, but the other two books were for me, not him.
I have been so, so good, but when someone eases open the man-door—probably to slip out and use the restroom—I take advantage of the excuse to steal a glance in that direction. To steal a glance at Derek. His eyes are locked on me, and just knowing that, seeing it with my own eyes causes my heart to plummet.
Derek breaks my gaze, glancing to his left and scooting down so someone can take the seat beside him. Who the hell shows up halfway through a—?
My face transforms with horror as I see Henry drop into that seat next to Derek. I cannot breathe. I can’t control my facial expression, either, so I hope to God the photographer is zoomed in on Bethany and Alex right now.
Oh, my God, what is Henry doing here?
He smiles and winks at me—but then he notes the look on my face and cocks his head, frowning in confusion. Derek’s attention apparently returned to me faster than mine returned to him, and when I glance at him, his blue eyes are narrowed with a look I’ve seen on that handsome face before. Caught somewhere between comprehension and mischief, he turns his head and looks at Henry again, paying a little more attention now.
I’ve never hoped for a church floor to open up and swallow me before, but that is my current fantasy. My horror escalates when Henry’s attention wavers and he looks over at Derek, who is now offering his hand and introducing himself with a charming smile, smug in knowing more than Henry does right now.
No, stop it! Damn him. I shift my weight on the stage, dying to run over there and smack Derek in the head with my bouquet. Stop talking to my boyfriend, you asshole!
Caught up in the reappearance of Derek, I did completely forget about Henry for a few minutes. Forget terrible girlfriend, I am a terrible human being.
Despite being a lawyer, Henry isn’t, so even though you can tell he doesn’t want to be trapped into murmured conversation with the complete stranger beside him, he nods at Derek with a faintly polite smile as Derek engages him in conversation
. I see them talking, but I don’t know what is being said. It gets a little easier to guess when Henry points at me on the stage.
Oh, my God.
This is the weirdest day of my whole life.
Maybe if I ignore them, they will disappear. Testing the theory out, I turn my attention back to Alex and Bethany, ignore the internal screaming, and just force myself to get through the rest of this ceremony.
An eternity later, Alex is lifting Bethany’s arm in the air like she’s the reigning champion, then wrapping his arm around her waist and tugging her in for a kiss. He dips her and I have to laugh as a couple of people in the audience let out a “whoop!”
Bethany and Alex are grinning so wide, looking so happy, I forget for a moment that my own life is falling apart and just enjoy seeing their happy ending. Happy beginning, rather. They walk down the aisle first and we all meet up with our respective aisle-mates to follow them. My groomsman flashes me a smile and offers his arm. I take it, but my gaze drifts out over the crowd, going to Derek and Henry, now seated side-by-side.
I’ve been dreading the walk up and back down the aisle because I hate being the center of attention, but as my gaze meets Derek’s sparkling blue eyes, warmth blossoms and spreads throughout my whole body. It feels wrong to hold another man’s arm and walk down the aisle as Derek watches.
I had a dream like this once, years ago. I was the bride. Not a happy one. I walked down the aisle with some other man while Derek sat silently in the audience, ignoring my internal pleas for him to stop me. Just like in life, I waited for him, and he failed to come through.
Looking at him now, though, there is something in his gaze I don’t recognize anymore. Something fierce and possessive, but calm, maybe patient. I’m not sure how I get all that from a wordless look, but his eyes have always spoken to me. Whispered beautiful lies that I held onto with devout conviction—my own personal gospel.
And look where that got me.
The guests file out of their pews behind us while the photographer snaps shots of Bethany and Alex in the other room. Mini bottles of bubbles are passed out and the room fills up so everyone is crowded. I’m already feeling a little claustrophobic with all the people in this cramped space, then I feel a hand on my arm. I turn around like a deer caught in headlights, but it’s only Henry.
“Hey, you.”
With a breathless, uneasy laugh, I do an unsubtle check behind him to make sure Derek isn’t right there with him. Seeing he isn’t, I look up at Henry. “Hey. What are you doing here? I told you not to come.”
His eyebrows rise at my clumsy wording. “Did you? I seem to recall you telling me I didn’t have to come.”
I roll my eyes in an attempt at dismissing my phrasing. “You know what I meant.”
“I expect a writer to be more careful about her lingual choices,” he teases, placing a hand on my waist and glancing past me, over where Alex and Bethany are.
“I am not a writer,” I mutter.
“We’re going to agree to disagree about that, remember?” Pulling me in that direction, he says, “Why don’t you introduce me to your dad?”