After You (Because of You 2)

“Never. I was made to bust out of boxes.”

Since there is already food on the table, I ask, “What is going on here? You two are appetizing without me?”

“Taquitos!” Cassidy announces, leaning forward and grabbing one. In the center of the table is a paper boat filled with 5 taquitos slathered in a pool of cheese, guacamole, and sour cream. She takes her taquito and dips it into the cheese first, then the sour cream, then she takes a bite. Before she can dunk it back in, Derek stops her.

“Ah ah, no double dipping. We have to pretend to be civilized so we don’t scare off Nikki.”

Her eyes widen. “But I need more.”

Derek hands her a spoon. She stares at it, sighs dramatically, but finally takes it so she can get a little dollop of sour cream for her taquito.

Smiling, I go ahead and take one myself. “I’m starving, so this actually works out well for me.”

Cassidy finishes off her taquito and asks me, “Do you know how to cook?”

“Uh… no. I mean, I can cook, but I don’t cook much anymore. I don’t have time to.”

“Daddy makes good taquitos at home sometimes. Friday night is supposed to be our movie night. Are you going to watch a movie with us? We’re gonna have popcorn.”

“Sure, I’m just along for the ride. If you guys do movie nights on Friday nights, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“We didn’t do one last time because somebody wasn’t home,” she says, mean-mugging Derek.

“That was two weeks ago,” Derek corrects, watching his taquito as he breaks it in half, “And we’ve discussed this. Unless you’re entering into a binding contract to live with me for the next 50 years, I reserve the right to have a life outside of our house. Sometimes that might mean missing the Friday night movie, but we made up for it Monday, didn’t we?”

“I’ll live with you for the next 50 years,” she says decisively.

Cracking a smile, he says, “Something tells me you might change your mind about that someday.”

“I won’t change my mind,” she tells him, mildly offended.

“You never want to go to college or get married or have babies?”

Wrinkling her nose up, she says, “No way. I’m going to be a veterinarian and a ballerina, and I’m gonna have a unicorn farm. I’m not gonna have time to get married.”

“Wow, you’re going to be as busy as Nikki,” he says, smiling at me.

I roll my eyes. “Twice. I’m sorry you hate my job so much.” Before Derek has time to respond, Cassidy pecks me on the shoulder. I look over at her and cock an eyebrow in question. “What can I do for you, Cassidy?”

“I want a baby sister.”

My eyes go wide, and I slowly turn my head to look at Derek. “Uh... Cool?”

“Not a baby brother,” she continues, rather firmly. “Just a baby sister.”

Since she’s still staring at me with those big blue eyes so earnestly, like she expects me to reach beneath the table and pull a new sibling out from under my dress, I have no idea what to say. Where did this even come from? Do children randomly desire siblings? Doesn’t she know her father is single, and so he shouldn’t be giving her any new siblings? Probably not. Does she think I’m his girlfriend, and it’s now my job to produce said sibling?

This is a lot, and Derek is not helping at all. He’s doing his damndest not to laugh, but he must feel my eyeballs on him, because he refuses to look up.

“How about a baby doll?” I suggest, looking back at Cassidy. “We can stop at the store on the way back to your dad’s and I’ll buy you a baby doll. How’s that?”

Her eyes light up and she bounces energetically. “Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

There we go. It might cost me $20, but at least I don’t have to produce a needy little human to satisfy the tiny Noble.

I can’t help eyeballing the bigger one suspiciously, though. I’d like to think he would never put that idea in her head, but he did pay her to call me mom and disorient me literally before she had even met me. Clearly they’re partners in crime, and while I would never expect a normal man to want to knock me up, a normal man who has already been through hell because of one accidental pregnancy would probably be much more adamant about protection. He’s been inside me several times now, and never once has he reached for a condom. He was better about that when we were teenagers, so a little part of me can’t help wondering if he’s thinking he can trap me this time. Clearly it worked for Kayla, but I’m not Derek; that would not work on me. If the asshole knocks me up to try to force me into a relationship, he better prepare to be disappointed. Just to be spiteful, I’ll make his ass co-parent from three hours away.

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