As Cassidy skips ahead in the aisle, Derek wraps his arm around my waist. I lean into him and sigh, enjoying the casual intimacy of the moment. He ordered me a margarita at the restaurant because he knows I’m an easy drunk, but I’m only lightly buzzed. Not ready to make terrible decisions, just relaxed enough to snuggle into his side like I like him as we head for the toy department.
Cassidy gets sidetracked in the clothing de
partment when a little dress with a puffy skirt catches her eye. “Ooh, look! Is this my size?” she calls back to us.
“She got that from Kayla,” I mutter.
Derek squeezes my side. “Kayla who?”
I can’t help cracking a smile. “That’s not gonna work now, Derek Noble.”
“I don’t know what you mean. Cassidy is your daughter. We’ve been married for six years. You love shopping. That’s probably where she learned it from.”
“Yeah, right,” I mutter, good-naturedly. “You can’t trick me again.”
“I’ll buy wedding bands next time,” he tells me. “Slip it on while you’re sleeping. That’s where I went wrong the first time. Should’ve planned it out better.”
Cassidy is holding the dress up to her chest to show us when we make it to over her. “Can I get this?” she asks.
“Sure,” I say, before Derek can.
Cassidy does a little dance and hands the dress to Derek, then proceeds down the aisle toward the toys.
Letting his arm drop from my hip, he checks the tag. “This is not her size.” He puts it back on the racks and grabs the right size, then continues toward the toys. “Also, parenting pro tip: when they ask if they can have impulse items at the store, you generally want to say no. Otherwise you’ll spend $180 every time you have to stop for bread.”
Squinting my eyes and tapping my chin, I remark, “Funny, in the six years we’ve been married and parenting together, you’d think I would already know that.”
Sighing heavily, he drapes his arm around my shoulder. “When we get to the register, she’ll ask for chocolate. Say no to the chocolate.”
“I already said no to a baby sibling, I feel like chocolate is the least I could do to make up for it.”
“You didn’t say no to a baby sibling. Even if you did say no, you would just need some convincing. You say no to everything. Just gotta work at you until you give in.”
“That’s a healthy frame of mind,” I tell him, dryly.
“I only ever force you to do things you already want to do, you just like to be difficult.”
“Are you admitting it, then?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Were you actually trying to knock me up the first time we had sex in six years? And do you understand how crazy that is? We don’t even know if we are remotely compatible anymore, and I’ve got news for you, buddy. I’m no Derek, I’m no Kayla; knocking me up will not trap me. I will go right on with my life as planned. I’ll just, I don’t know, do edits in my living room with a sleeping baby strapped to my chest while cursing your name to the gods.”
“I admit nothing,” he says. “I wasn’t trying to get you pregnant, I just didn’t do anything to actively not try.”
“You’re insane,” I inform him.
“No, I’m the only man in the world who knows how to operate you,” he says, rather cocky for someone who is so very wrong. “You want kids, so would it be the worst thing if you got pregnant?”
“The timing is not right. You and I aren’t even together. Don’t you dare try to impregnate me, Derek. We’re buying condoms before we leave this store tonight, otherwise no sex for you.”
“Bullshit,” he says, looking over at me and smiling. “You haven’t been fucked in two weeks, you’re not going to be able to keep your hands to yourself tonight, you little nympho.”
Just because he’s being an ass, I ask him, “What makes you think I haven’t had sex in two weeks? I haven’t had sex with you in two weeks…”
His smile drops, but after a couple seconds, he says, “You’re fucking with me.”
Keeping mum, I lift my eyebrows and drop them, as if I can’t commit to an answer.
“You better be fucking with me,” he states, his voice a little lower. “I’ll rip apart any asshole who thinks he can touch you, I’ll tell you that right now.”
“I do not belong to you,” I inform him. “We are not in a relationship, we are friends with benefits at most.”