Because of You (Because of You 1)

Stephanie casually asked Derek what he was doing for Thanksgiving, wanting to include him, and he said he would probably get roped into going to his grandmother's house.

"Which grandmother?" I asked curiously.

"On my dad's side," he said.

I wanted to ask if he ever saw Sarah's parents anymore, but I didn't want him to get all freaky on me, so I didn't.

I really didn't like holidays very much. It was the worst time of the year, with everyone planning to visit their loving families. It never failed to remind me that I didn't have one, and I wondered if it bothered Derek, too, but of course I wasn't allowed to ask.

That did bother me. If we were friends, shouldn't we be able to get past our family history and actually talk about our families?

Our conversation was cut short, though, because Kayla entered the lunch room and she started to come sit by Stephanie, but when she saw me and Derek at the table, she was outraged.

"Bitch," she said to Stephanie, upon learning that Steph was the one to invite us.

Stephanie sighed, trying to reason with her friend. "Kayla, just sit down."

"No, you invited them to the table, so obviously you like that freak and my ex better than you like me. Some friend."

"Kayla," she said, sighing again as she stood up and went after Kayla.

I rolled my eyes. "She is such a drama queen."

Derek nodded his agreement, taking a bite of his pizza.

"She can't really be that upset, right?" I asked, my conscience uneasy. "I mean... when you two were together, she never claimed to love you or anything, right?"

Derek shrugged. "Not that I can remember."

"I just thought she'd be over it by now," I said, before turning my attention back to Steph, who was sitting back down, Kayla at her side.

"I'm sorry," Kayla said to Steph. "I've just been a little emotional lately, I don't know what's wrong with me."

I glanced down at Kayla, but when she realized I was looking at her she fixed me with a glare, asking, "What the hell are you looking at?"

I rolled my eyes at her once again, not bothering to reply, and returned my attention to eating my lunch, not really talking much to anyone once Kayla sat down.

As usual, Derek's bad mood seemed to come out of nowhere. When Thanksgiving break started, we were perfectly fine, possibly even friends.

Then he went to that stupid dinner with his grandmother, and suddenly he was grumpy toward me again.

I was really starting to hate his family, maybe even more than I did when I met him. It was almost always after he would be around them that his moods would turn mean and he would push me away. Normally it was just his dad, who, despite telling me that Derek "could" date me if he wanted to, still didn't seem to be wildly fond of me. That was probably partially my fault, since I had never been more polite to Mike than the day he gave me a ride home, but it was still really annoying. Just when I thought I was wearing Derek down and possibly earning his friendship, his family could easily wipe out all of my progress, and it would seem like he hated me again.

It was starting to drive me crazy.

But for the next couple days, Derek was sullen and withdrawn, completely disinterested in being nice to me. I didn't like to sleep with him when he was like that either, because although he would let me cuddle for a few minutes, he made me feel like I was forcing him

, and then he would leave, making me feel just a touch aggravated. After all that physical closeness, it took me just a couple minutes to be able to space myself, and it didn't seem that way for him.

I waited patiently for his moods to go back to normal, but when the beginning of December rolled around and he still seemed withdrawn, I decided it was time to have a discussion, whether he felt like it or not.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him one day.

"What do you mean?" he asked, glancing up at me.

"Well, for a while it seemed like you didn't hate me so much, but even today I felt like I had to convince you to study with me. Did I do something?"

"No," he said, turning his attention back to the book as if the conversation was over.