Because of You (Because of You 1)

Apparently her journals weren't complete. Not only was there nothing in there about that part of the affair with Mike, but there was definitely nothing about turning to Alex, asking him to take her away, to escape Mike's hold on her.

His earlier words ran through my head, his out-of-the-blue offer to send me to an out-of-state school if that was what I needed to rid myself of Derek.

"I wasn't there when she needed me," he finally concluded once he had himself back in check. "The only time she ever asked me for help in all of the years we knew each other…"

I shook my head. "It's not your fault, Dad. She was…in too deep."

"I know," he agreed, nodding. "But for the first time, she wanted out. Every other time she would get in too deep with him, she would just allow it to happen. She asked for help that time. She was going to try to get better, but she just needed to get away from him to do it. She needed somebody to help her be strong." He shook his head. "I was drunk that night, but I'll never forget that phone call. It haunts me," he said, offering a mirthless smile.

"Don't you think you've carried around that ghost long enough?" I suggested. "You know she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. It was her decision."

"I know," he said. "But she asked me to save her, Nicole."

Nodding, I said, "I know. Is that why you offered to take me away from Derek?"

"Trying to get it right the second time around," he offered. "I don't know what kind of cruel joke Fate decided to play on me by making me go through this twice in 20 years, but…"

"Don't worry," I said, feeling that I needed to be strong for him, if for no other reason. "We're going to win this time."

Nodding, he just looked up at me, sighing as he said, "We have to get the hell out of this town, Nicole. It's haunted."

I nodded in agreement. "We will. I promise, I'm not going to fall back in this time."

"We could go as soon as next week, if you wanted to. You could just transfer to a school wherever we're heading."

I shook my head. "I would prefer that we stay here until the end of the school year. If I have any moments of weakness—which I don't plan to, because I am going to avoid him as if my life depends on it—I promise I will come straight to you and you can…remind me. You can be my support system if there's any threat of relapse. We're going to be partners."

He nodded. "I like that idea."

"We'll save up our money, we'll discuss our relocation options, and when I graduate, we'll just move. We don't even have to tell anybody," I said, offering a smile.

"They'll just wake up one day and we'll be gone. A dramatic exit. I like it."

I smiled at him. "It's a plan then."

"Don't tell Derek," he implored me. "If he knows he's really about to lose you…"

I nodded, my smile waning. "I know. I read all her journals, remember? That's what Mike did when she would try to leave."

"How the hell did you end up with Mike Jr.?" he asked, shaking his head at me.

"I have no idea," I told him. "But wait, what about Katrina?" I asked, remembering he had a girlfriend.

He rolled his eyes. "We're not telling her either. We're just getting the hell out of here."

"You should probably break up with her before we leave," I suggested.

Nodding, he said, "I probably should. Do you have any idea where we're going to be relocating to?"

This topic sparked my excitement a little bit, and I told him a little enthusiastically, "Oh, I have several ideas, but I'm going to have to talk them over with you. There are things to consider—budget, cost of living, the increased price of housing in the places I want to go to school…you may not agree to them."

"We can go anywhere you want, kid. Pick a spot of the map, I promise we'll figure out a way to get there."

Biting my lip, I said, "Well, if you don't have anything better to do…I have all of the schools bookmarked, it would only take me a second to pull them up and show them to you online."

Standing, Alex said, "Let's go find our next home."

I smiled and assented, making my way happily down the hall, forgetting for a little while longer the sad circumstances of our relocation.