“Don’t judge me by the teenage girl paraphernalia that’s scattered around my room,” she said lightly.
Cracking a smile, he said, “Did a teenage girl sneak in here and plant it so I’d find it?”
“Yes,” she enthused. “She’s such a bitch. I keep trying to get rid of her but the garlic necklace and salt circle were both a bust.”
Ethan shook his head. “You should really have someone take care of that. What would your army of boyfriends think?”
“They’re teenage boys, so I highly doubt they would find it so offensive,” she pointed out. Tugging on his arm, she prompted him to turn around. He did, wrapping his arms around her waist, looking down at her.
“You’re trouble, you know that?” he asked.
Willow shook her head. “I’m sweet as pie, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Despite his sigh, his hand moved to her face and he ran the backs of his fingers along her jaw before cupping her face in his hand. Willow leaned into it and closed her eyes, so open to his touch.
“I don’t understand you,” he murmured, pulling her closer so he could place a kiss on her forehead.
“What don’t you understand?”
Sighing, Ethan said, “I’m not trying to bullshit you or anything , but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say you could pretty much have your pick of guys. Why am I here?”
Instead of feigning modesty and denying it, or even smiling and teasing him about it, her lips pressed together and she seemed to contemplate her response. After a minute, she came up with one. “I could be here with someone else, sure, but…I feel like it needs to be you. I can’t compartmentalize you the way that I would need to in order to file you away—you’re in too many different compartments. We’ve blurred—I’ve blurred the lines in such a way that…” She trailed off, uncertain how to explain it. Her brow furrowed.
“You certainly haven’t blurred the lines on your own, Willow,” he told her, shaking his head slightly. “That’s as much my fault—more my fault than it is yours.”
Her gray eyes shot to his, a little frustrated. “It’s not about fault. I’m not trying to place blame on anyone. I just…I need to try to make a new memory. You’ll always be my first, whether you think I should think of it that way or not, it doesn’t change the facts. You were the first, maybe not the first that I picked, but the first all the same. Maybe my feel
ings for you have changed since then—I haven’t daydreamed about a fiery spike piercing your torso recently—but that just makes the memories… weirder. It’s like when you go to sleep and dream your significant other is cheating on you and you wake up angry at them, even though they didn’t actually do anything—only, instead of that, it’s… ripping away my virginity in front of a group of criminals, a couple of whom are clearly planning to do the same fucking thing to me at the next available opportunity. I’m not your high school girlfriend, I didn’t expect candles, but…my expectations were a little bit more than what I got.”
Just hearing her reiterate the gory details caused Ethan’s stomach to sink. Images flung themselves to the forefront of his mind—Lane with the gun to her head, the bloody condom, Willow curled up on the ground, crying. His stomach rolled over.
There was nothing he could say or do to make up for it, and he hated being reminded of that. “I’m sorr—”
Willow placed her hand over his mouth, shaking her head. “You don’t have to apologize again. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, just trying to answer your question.”
Before he could argue, Willow stood on her tiptoes, looping her arm around his neck, and tugged him down to kiss her.
Slow at first, Willow escalated things when she caught his lower lips between her teeth and tugged, then slipped her tongue into his mouth and surprised him with her aggression.
Ethan could feel his own desire stirring as he tugged her closer, matching her eagerness. He slowly walked her backward until the backs of her legs hit the bed, skimming her curves with his fingertips, then placing his hands under her ass and lifting her. She wrapped her legs around him instinctively and a minute later they were on the bed, and he was tossing those damn decorative pillows on the floor as Willow scooted backward, trying not to break their kiss.
Finally she did break the kiss, needing air, but he took the opportunity to start kissing his way up her neck, which made Willow moan—which in turn, drove him crazy.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he murmured, wanting to stop then if she was going to change her mind.
“Mm hmm,” she murmured back, her fingers delving through his hair, the other hand resting on his back, holding his body close to hers.
He hoped to hell she was sure. Stopping in the hotel room had been hard, and he wasn’t eager to do that again.
"I want to ask you something that may sound kind of weird," Willow said.
Ethan pulled back to look at her, but she wasn’t looking in his eyes, focusing instead on his chest.
"Okay?"
"I want you to—to fuck me really hard, okay?"
His cock stirred, but Ethan still had the presence of mind to hesitate. "I mean, it's your first time, so I should probably... go easy on you, you know? Your body isn't going to—"