Before she went on, she hesitated, not knowing how much of what she had learned about herself she should actually share with Aaron. Then she figured she may as well—he already hated her, it couldn't really get any worse, and it would probably feel good to actually share it with someone.
"I wasn't consciously aware of this at the time, but I think I was actually trying to get out of my relationship with Jack. One too many nights that I waited up, one too many nights that…he snuck in when I could literally see sun peeking in the window. Even though I never consciously admitted that he must be out cheating on me, I'm not a dumbass, I saw what he was doing. I think I actually had so much going on in my life that I just didn't have time to see that my boyfriend was cheating on me, as ridiculous as that sounds. I just didn’t have the time or the resources to deal with it."
Shaking his head, Aaron said, "No, that doesn't sound ridiculous at all. Actually… I think it's easy to get so caught up in your day-to-day life that you miss even the really obvious things like that. Sometimes you just don’t want to see it."
Nodding, she said, "And then there was Matt, always there to listen to me when Jack didn't care what I had to say, to watch a movie about an artist and his painting when Jack would have probably been stupid and wanted to watch porn or something," she said, rolling her eyes. "And he had Emma—and anyone could see that Emma…"
She stopped and glanced at him cautiously, knowing that she was probably treading on very thin ice, and she didn't want to step too hard and break it.
But Aaron nodded. "I know Emma. Go on."
"I just think sometimes that maybe the reason I…took the plunge with Matt was because I wanted out, but I didn't know how. Maybe not consciously, but… I never do things without thinking them through first, not really, and especially not important things. I knew Jack wasn't right for me, and when the opportunity presented itself… I think I just took it because I knew something would have to change then. I'm not the kind of person who can be involved with two people at once—when I picked Matt, that was the shove away from Jack that I needed. I think—and I've had a lot of time to think, but this is still only a theory—that I always viewed that as a temporary step, just a short chapter in my life to transition me from being absolutely dependent on a shitty relationship to get by to… wherever I was supposed to go next. The OB GYN never crossed my mind," she stated dryly.
Smiling a little inanely, Aaron said, "The temporary transitions tend to stick longer than you mean for them to."
Nodding, she said, "Mine completely changed my life. Now I have a baby on the way. Not really the next step I was planning to take, but… hey, whatever works, right?" she said, offering a smile.
Aaron looked pensive, but he nodded a little. "It sounds like Jack really didn't treat you very well," he remarked.
"He didn't. Of course when I got fed up and told him I was leaving, then he decided he wanted to change his ways."
Smiling without humor, he said, "They always do."
Julie shrugged, sighing. "I don't know. I just really don't know what to tell my mom."
Aaron was suddenly frowning, and she didn't know what she did or said, but she could feel the energy in the room shift, and his frown turned into a deep scowl.
The momentary camaraderie was gone.
Then, standing up, he said, "I don't know what to tell you."
She could feel him pull out of the conversation then, and his attention moved around the room as he walked, but she could tell he didn't really have anything to do, he was just looking for something to pull him away from her.
"Anyway, I have to make a phone call," he stated, grabbing his cell phone and heading to his room without another word.
Julie frowned as he ran away as if she had the plague, and she wondered what it was that she had said wrong. For a few minutes, she felt like she was actually connecting to Aaron.
However, the server seemed to have abruptly crashed, because the connection definitely failed and he couldn't seem to get away from her fast enough.
Sighing, she wondered if he would always hate her so much.
Then, glancing down at her still bump-less stomach, she said, "Poor Poppy Seed. You should have picked a smarter mommy."
When Aaron got done with his phone call—if he even made one—he left, leaving Julie to spend yet another evening alone with her books, her thoughts and the telephone.
She knew she needed to call her mom and explain the situation, but she really hated to do that.
As she was contemplating calling her mother back, her cell phone started going off and she saw that it was her mother calling.
Julie sighed and braced herself, then she answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Julie! How could you hang up on me like that—just drop the bomb and hang up."
"Yeah, I was being a chicken," Julie admitted.
"Who's this guy? You're living together? And you didn't even tell me? When did you and Jack break up?"
"Listen, this is going to get complicated." Sighing, Julie heard Aaron's voice in her head, simply telling her to tell the truth and she decided just to come clean.