Beautiful Mistakes

Laughing, Leigh called, "Good idea!"

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As usual, Matt gave Julie a call to check in. He asked her the usual things—how she was feeling, if she was remembering to take the prenatal vitamins that he bought her, things of that nature.

Even though she hated to admit it, when he asked things about the baby, it made her feel kind of good—like maybe despite his initial bastard behavior, he actually cared.

Then he asked her about her availability on a day several weeks away, if she had any classes. When she asked why, he told her that he had scheduled her first doctor appointment on that day, so she needed to write it down and let Aaron know she wouldn't be able to work that afternoon.

"Are you going to come with me?" she asked without meaning to.

"If I can, yes," he said.

Since she found the answer just a little dissatisfactory, she let the topic go.

Without much trouble, they returned to more normal topics. Matt was also asking about the classes she was taking in the coming semester, and two of the classes she was really looking forward to, so she rambled about them for a while.

Then he got around to asking her if she had any plans for New Year's Eve. Although she was sure she hadn't intended on editing Aaron out of the story, she somehow ended up telling him that a co-worker was having a little get-together and invited her to tag along if she didn't have anything better to do, so she figured she would probably stop by their party for New Year's.

"Do you even have anything to wear to a party?" he asked.

Feeling like it had been a subtle and probably unintended insult, she responded, "I have clothes, if that's what you mean."

"Well, no, obviously you have clothes," he said with a slight chuckle. "Although I do prefer you without them…"

Her pulse skipped a little, and she pretended not to hear that part. "Well, I'm sure that I will be able to find something to wear. I haven't gained any weight yet, so all my clothes still fit me at the moment."

He let it go, and didn't attempt to flirt anymore for the rest of the conversation, just let the flow return like it always seemed to.

She was never certain how she felt when he would make comments like that, intentionally making her think of the brief time they were lovers. In the one sense, it made her annoyed and angry, because he was teasing her with something she obviously couldn't have. Sure, she suspected she might be able to be his mistress, but at the end of the day he was making no move to change anything at all with Emma—or if he was, he was keeping it secret.

Then there was the other hand. Julie was lonely. She really hated to admit it, because she was sure that it was just a phase, and once school was back in she would be able to forget she was as lonely as she really was and bury herself under papers and textbooks.

But sometimes she would get sad, and she would wonder how long school would distract her when she had a much bigger development going on inside of her body. How would she feel when she felt her baby kick for the first time and she had no one to share the excitement with? How would she feel when she saw the ultrasound and she had no one's hand to hold, no one to share a tender smile with as they gaze disbelievingly at the little heart beating on the monitor?

Somehow she didn't think she was going to be excited about being alone in those moments.

However, when those thoughts would envelope her—on those long, lonely evenings at the apartment that was already beginning to feel like a jail cell—she would remind herself that she had made her bed, she had no one but herself to blame if it was uncomfortable.

The day after she talked to Matt she had one of her little four hour shifts—bringing in a whopping $53— and she made her way home by herself, Aaron staying back at the café. She was beginning to notice that he seemed to even stop coming home in the middle of the day like he had been doing before—he was literally working all day without even his usual breaks to avoid being around her.

The man was determined to hate her, even if it killed him.

"Miss Kingsley!" the doorman greeted with a smile, a long plastic bag draped over his shoulder. "How are you doin' today?"

"Good, thank you," she said, offering a smile and glancing down as she walked through the doors.

"Wait, I have somethin' for you," he said, holding out the plastic bag for her. "This was delivered while you were at work. The young man seemed to be in a hurry, so I told him I would be sure you got it when you returned home."

Frowning, Julie took the bag and looked at it strangely. "Um, I wasn't expecting any delivery. I think maybe they got the wrong person."

Shaking his head, the elderly man said, "Nope, he told me to make sure Julie Kingsley got it, told me you were staying at Aaron Turner's apartment."

"That's odd," she said. "Well, thank you. I hope you haven't had to hold it too long."

Smiling kindly, he said, "Not at all, miss."

Vaguely, she wondered if it was appropriate to tip doormen on such occasions, and she figured there could be no harm in it, so she dug in her pocket and withdrew three of the dollars she had earned that day, handing it to the doorman.