Beautiful Mistakes

"So you remember holding me in your arms every night we sleep together when you're drunk?" she asked to verify, again blushing a little at her clumsy wording.

And she was an English major, she thought ironically.

That made him look slightly uncomfortable, but he answered, "Yes."

She paused for a second, then she said, "So, why is it that you only do that when you're drunk? I mean, is it one of those things that you do just because you're a guy and I'm a female and I'm the only one around? 'Cause I did know a guy who was like that, he was just… a frisky drunk, and it didn't matter who the girl was, he was interested while he was drunk, then he came back to his senses when he sobered up."

That seemed to increase his discomfort, and she saw a light frown mar his brow.

Not wanting to push the peace treaty in any way, she rambled on, "I mean, I don't mind, I don't want you to think I'm complaining. I wasn't. I don't care. I was just curious, because I noticed that when you're sober you sleep with your back to me, and I just thought maybe that's because you don't really mean to do it, you just do because you're drunk, and sometimes people are a little out-of-character when they're drunk." She missed a beat, and when he didn't respond fast enough she went on, "But you know what, you can just forget I asked. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or grumpy, so just pretend… I didn't say anything."

The silence seemed to stretch on, even though it really didn't last very long, and then he said, "I'm aware of what I'm doing when I'm drunk, I'm just… not as cautious as I typically would be. I don't do anything I don't want to do, it's just that sometimes I… express what I want and what I like much more than I ever would permit myself to do sober."

Glancing over at him, she said, "So… you like to hold me at night?"

He was silent again, and she could tell his brain was working fast as he tried to come up with an appropriate answer to the question.

He was very good at being cautious, she thought absently. She should really take notes.

Finally, he answered her without answering her. "I want for you to not be uncomfortable around me."

Frowning, she said, "Am I uncomfortable around you?"

He was certainly uncomfortable. "I don't know," he muttered.

"I don't think that I'm normally uncomfortable around you."

"Okay, maybe you're not, but I'm normally in much more control of myself than I am when I'm drunk. I don't see how you could possibly be comfortable if the guy you're forced to live with went around soberly holding you close to his body every night and… the other inappropriate things I say and do when I'm drunk," he said vaguely.

She had to frown a little, because it sounded perfectly normal to sleep in the arms of the guy you lived with—but since they weren't really "living together" in that sense, she knew what he meant.

"But if it made me uncomfortable I would probably say something, don't you think?"

"I don't know if you would or not," he said. "I could be a total asshole for all you know; maybe you think if you objected to my behavior I would kick you out or something."

Scoffing at the idea, she said, "Yeah, right. You're, like, the most decent person I've ever met in my life. If I didn't like you touching me, I would surely tell you."

There was another stretch of silence, and then he finally sighed a little, saying, "Listen, Julie. Here's the situation. Right now I have pissed Matt off—Emma already hates me—so there is a possibility—I don't know how likely it is, because really I don’t know anything about your relationship, and I really don't want the details, but there is a chance that he is going to fight back. He isn't going to fight fair, and he isn't going to be honest—he will use any tool at his disposal, because they are two of a kind, and even if Matt doesn't think about it, Emma will. I can guarantee you that if we have pissed them off enough, they're going to declare war, and I'm not trying to insult you or make you seem inferior, but you're not used to them, you don't understand what they can be like. You are an easy target, and right now I'm your safe place, so if Matt does fight back—and tonight when he was on my doorstep, he didn't seem like he was backing down—he is going to use me to try to get to you. You got a preview of it tonight."

Julie frowned, not quite comprehending. "I don't know what you mean."

Turning his head to look at her, he said, "What did Matt say to you before I slammed the door in his face, Julie?"

She didn't even have to think about it, since the words had replayed in her mind multiple times afterward. "He said… that you were using me to settle a score."

"Exactly," Aaron said. "He's already laying the groundwork. He's already planting the idea in your head that I'm using you to get back at him for the Shannon ordeal, and whether you think s

o or not, if I were to… do those things, they would start to look suspicious. Maybe not on their own, but all he has to do is keep talking to you, keep burning it into your mind that I'm out to settle a score, that I'm using you to get back at him…"

She wanted to argue, but she really couldn't since she had just been thinking those exact thoughts moments before.

"But you aren't. That doesn't even make any sense—in order to get back at him for what he did to you, you would have to…" She stopped, not finishing as she considered what he would have to do to get even—and even the extent of it would depend on what he considered "even" and how diabolical he was.

But he didn't let her trail off, he prompted her to go on. "I would have to…?"

Her face heated up a little in the darkness and she said nothing.

After a few seconds, he said, "Let me put it this way, would holding you every night help or hurt my case if I was trying to get even with my brother?"