Beautiful Mistakes

Shooting her a dry look, he said, "Oh yeah, I'm looking out for my virtue."

Nodding, she said with mock seriousness, "Me too."

He cracked a smile, and it made her feel all warm and happy inside.

Strange.

He shook his head a little as he closed his eyes, but she noticed the tension was gone from his face and from the muscles in his back.

"Good night, Julie."

Smiling widely even though he couldn't see her—or maybe because he couldn't see her—she said, "Good night, Aaron."

And as she enjoyed the warmth of his embrace, she didn't even try to go to sleep. As soon as she fell asleep the hours would fly by, and before she knew it morning would be there, then Aaron would get up, and she would no longer have the strange security that she felt when he held her.

Although she tried to thoughtlessly enjoy it, she did wonder occasionally if that was such a good idea. Was it really a good idea to get accustomed to sleeping in someone's arms when she actually enjoyed it? What if she felt bereft once she had to sleep without him again? They weren’t together, and there was certainly no one waiting to knock down her door; she might be even lonelier later as a result of accepting the temporary comfort.

She knew she didn't only enjoy his embrace because she was lonely because she had never known that feeling before, but what if she did miss it once it was gone?

Aaron's first snore brought her out of her pondering, and a big smile made its way across her face as she gazed up at her noisy bedmate. She really was not a fan of snoring in general, but she was beginning to get accustomed to it coming from Aaron.

It was peculiar, but she got the strangest desire to just reach out and touch him—to trail her finger across his lips, to caress his cheek, to rest her face against his skin.

She resisted, of course, but the desire to do it in the first place was completely foreign to her.

Her eyes finally began to get too heavy, and she knew she was going to have to give in and go to sleep, but before she closed her eyes she took in one last gaze.

As her eyes fluttered closed and she yawned, Julie found herself thinking that she was really glad she gave the woman at the desk the flowers.

With her eyes closed, she tried to imagine that other route she could have taken if she wouldn't have cared what Aaron thought. She would have hauled the flowers upstairs—just like she had with the earrings—and she would thoughtlessly put them on the kitchen counter or something, her only thoughts on trying to figure out why Matt was sending her flowers and what it might mean. If he was thinking of her, might he regret tossing her out on her ass or pawning her off on his brother? As her thoughts were filled with Matt, she would probably wonder absently why Aaron was being so grumpy again, but since she wouldn't really care she would only register how his mood inconvenienced her, then her thoughts would return to the flowers that she was putting in a vase, and her fingers might curl around the card as she reread it again, trying to pretend she wasn't pleased that she was in Matt's thoughts…

When she drifted off to sleep, Aaron wouldn't wrap his arms around her. In fact, he might not have even stayed home. More than likely Aaron would have gone out after his shower and not returned home, so Julie would have gone to bed alone, and only for a moment might she wonder why Aaron hadn't come home…

…Just like she always used to do.

Her eyes opened, despite how heavy they felt, and she looked at Aaron again, a calm feeling of peace wrapping her up just like Aaron's embrace—safe, secure, happy.

It was the best bubble in the world, she thought sleepily. Since no one else was even awake, she didn't have to think about why she was so happy to be there—even when he wasn't really doing anything but snoring loudly—so she just basked in the unfamiliar feeling.

As she snuggled close to him and closed her eyes for the last time that night, she wondered what things might have been like if she had done the right thing with Matt's gifts right from the start—gotten rid of them. Instead of keeping the earrings that reminded Aaron of her former status all the time, what if she would have refused to accept them?

She was startled a little as Aaron jerked in his sleep, his arm tightening around her and his brow creasing even in his sleep.

Julie intuitively pulled him closer, lightly rubbing his back to ease the tension back out of it, and after a second he was snoring again.

As she yawned, she accepted that she would never really know what might have happened if she would have made better choices.

Better late than never, she decided.

Chapter Eighteen-

Julie woke up very briefly the next morning when Aaron rolled out of bed, because she noticed as soon as his arm was no longer wrapped around her.

"Go back to sleep, it's still dark out," he told her, climbing out of bed.

"Why do you wake up at these ungodly hours?" she muttered, pulling the blanket around her to try to make up for the warmth of his body.

Half smiling, he said, "Because I have a lot to do."