Beautiful Mistakes

Julie didn't realize she was holding her breath until the doctor smiled and pointed to a small spot pulsing really fast on the screen. "There we go. Mommy, Daddy, say hi to your baby."

"He's okay?" Julie asked, breathing again, suddenly feeling like she was going to cry and certainly not even realizing he had just referred to Aaron as the baby's daddy.

The doctor nodded, still smiling. "It's a strong heartbeat. You’re still early, but as of now, everything looks fine to me." He glanced up at Aaron, who was moving closer to the screen to get a better look. "See how fast the heart's beating?"

Aaron nodded, but he seemed completely transfixed as he watched the monitor. "Which part's the baby?" he asked the doctor.

The doctor pointed out a small spot on the screen and said, "The baby's right here. He's not very big right now, only about a half inch… here, he's… 1.39 centimeters."

Julie was amazed as she watched the little heart beat on the screen. "So the baby's okay?" she repeated softly.

The doctor nodded patiently. "If I were you, I wouldn't worry myself over it. Bleeding or spotting in early pregnancy can be fairly common. I still want you to keep an eye on it during the next few days, give us a call if anything more severe or painful happens. We'll make a follow-up appointment for you to come in next week just to make sure the little guy or girl is doing okay."

"Thank you so much," she said, still smiling softly at the screen.

"That's what I'm here for," he told her, pushing a button and printing out a picture, then he grabbed it and gave it to Julie. "There you go, a first picture."

Julie took the picture and looked at it, feeling too many different emotions to properly process any of them.

"Now, I do want you to take it easy

," the doctor told her as he extracted the ultrasound wand. "Don't overexert yourself, make sure you rest, try to stay off your feet a little more if you can, no heavy lifting." Then he directed at Aaron, "Dad, make sure she listens to me."

Aaron merely nodded, peeking over Julie's shoulder at the picture.

"It's so tiny," Julie whispered, looking over at Aaron.

"I guess it's not the size of a bagel yet," he replied.

Julie cracked a smile. "I must not be eating enough."

"Well, I'm going to wheel this thing out of here. I'll let you get dressed and then head on over to the lab so they can get some blood from you, and like I said, just give us a call this week if the bleeding worsens."

"Yes, sir," Julie said with a nod.

The doctor smiled at both of them as he wheeled away the ultrasound machine. "You three have a nice evening."

Julie didn't move to get up yet, she just placed one hand on her stomach and looked at her picture of the teeny tiny baby.

"Is it possible to love someone this much when you can't even see their face?" she asked him.

"Of course, it's your baby," he responded, but she could swear—despite her preoccupation—that she detected a little bit of sadness in his face.

Then she realized that while for her looking at the little miracle growing inside her body was completely amazing, for Aaron—who knew he could never experience what she had just made him witness—it was probably a less than joyous occasion.

She felt a sharp pang of sympathy for him then, but by the time she was done with the thought his face was already clear again.

"Do you want me to hold your picture for you while you get dressed?" he asked.

"Thank you," she said with a nod, handing it to him and standing up, grabbing her clothes and pulling them on.

Aaron went with Julie over so that she could get her blood test, and then he went to get the car while she went in and got a pee sample for them.

He was waiting for her outside the hospital doors by the time she made it out, and she got in quietly, still looking at the picture.

After a couple minutes, she said, "Thank you for taking me."

He shrugged. "No big deal."