We stared at each other briefly before he sighed. “I should be thrilled, you’re right. I think Brent’s an idiot and you’re too good for him. If I thought for one second you could forget about him and be happy with me as a substitute, I would be singing from the rooftops. However, I think we both know you
can’t just forget about him.”
I turned and faced the window, resisting the urge to curl into a ball. I couldn’t look at him, knowing I was about to lie.
“I can forget about him,” I insisted.
I could see in his eyes, Logan didn’t believe me for one second. He already knew me too well. “What about Kace? He’s going to find you and you’ll need Brent for that.”
I didn’t want to think about it anymore because I knew Logan was right. The abilities I had to fight Kace were only at their strongest with Brent by my side.
“Can we please not talk about this anymore, Logan?”
“Fair enough. I know you’ve been through a lot, but at least think about it. Please. I care about you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be with you. I do. I don’t want anything to happen to you and if that means you need Brent to stay safe then I hope you will think about talking to him.”
Logan excused himself from the table, picking up the ticket the waitress had left at some point. I smiled. Logan had grown these past few days. Old Logan would have happily accepted what he wanted and not considered any of the consequences. But the boy sitting across from me now only thought of me and what was best for me, even if it meant I would be with someone else. He would sacrifice his feelings to do what was right and I was more than proud of him for these significant changes.
I considered a life with Logan, and what it would be like. I pictured him as a loving husband and father to our children. Then I remembered the vision of him with his wife and child, and the happiness on his face when he saw it too. Omni said people’s choices could change the future. If I chose Logan, I would do just that. I felt guilty. Could I take that kind of happiness from Logan just to avoid my feelings for Brent? Could I take the sweet little boy from my vision that adorned Logan’s shoulders? That child would never come to be if I chose a life with Logan. It was incredibly selfish of me to even consider it. Logan deserved that kind of happiness and who was I to take it away from him? I knew he would love me, but there would always be a part of us that could never truly connect because we weren’t stamped to match.
The ache in my body was growing stronger and the few bites I had of my breakfast were swirling in my stomach. The flu-like symptoms gently reminded me I needed my Paramour. Why did he have to lie to me? We weren’t together when he was with Mandy. I would have understood.
Right, you would have been just as heartbroken.
Maybe I would have, but I would have forgiven him if he hadn’t lied about it. He made a choice that would change the future for us, not me.
Even so, you can’t take Logan’s future because Brent was foolish. It’s not right and you know it.
I really wish my subconscious was not so loud or so right, but as usual, she was. I had to let go of Logan.
Logan returned to the table after paying the bill. “Are you ready?” he asked.
I toyed with my napkin, rolling it in my fingers anxiously. “You’re right, Logan. I need to talk to him.”
Logan hid his disappointment with a soft smile, “Okay, then. You want me to take you back to Layken’s?”
“No. I’m going to call him.” Talking to him in person was not an option. Brent’s piercing gaze and his closeness would not allow me to think straight. I wanted to hear what he had to say with a clear head before I knew if I could forgive him, and I couldn’t do that with him infiltrating my senses.
Logan nodded. “I’m pretty sure I left my phone at the loft and if not, my uncle has a few phones he uses on the job.”
He held his arm out for me and I took it, pulling myself up from the table. Our eyes met and I had an incredible urge to kiss him again. I bit my lip and turned my head, feeling ashamed. Any feelings I had for Logan were wrong. He deserved his happiness and I knew from my visions it was with someone else.
And you’re in love with someone else.
CHAPTER 21
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke
Thankfully it was a short trip to the loft and Logan didn’t bring up Brent again. We talked a little bit about Layken and how much Logan liked her once. My heart clenched when he told me about a particularly rough morning at his house. I was still so angry at his parents for treating him the way they had.
“Layken and I went out a few times. My dad went ballistic one morning, and I left the house really angry. I went into town to get some food and meet up with my friend, Brody. I slammed my truck door when I got out hell bent on being mad at the world, and there was Layken’s smiling face. She asked me if we were still on for the movies that night. Seeing her made my whole world light up and I forgot about all the crap that happened that morning at home,” Logan shared, making me even angrier with his parents. Maybe if they had treated Logan better he and Layken would still be together.
Holding my emotions in check, I asked, “You really liked her, didn’t you?”
He nodded. “Everything just felt so right when I was around her, like nothing else mattered. I guess that’s why I was so pissed when Brent showed up. It was obvious that she had it bad for him.”
“I’m sorry, Logan,” I said, understanding how he felt. There was something about Layken that made you want to keep her close.
Logan’s eyes sprang open. “No, I’m sorry Claire. I let the Adherent possess me and took all of my anger out on you.”