The Locket

I rolled my eyes at my subconscious, annoyed with her too.

As we settled in for the evening, Logan se

t up his laptop and started a movie. I smiled thinking about the last time I watched a movie in this room, remembering how Logan and I quoted lines from The Princess Bride. That was a big moment for us – a moment when I first saw a side of him I knew was good. At the time, I was in a terrible situation. I shouldn’t be smiling but I was, thinking of his goofy face while he quoted Vizzini. I glanced at Logan who was smiling back at me, obviously thinking the same thing. I noticed Brent was looking at me and then to Logan. I knew he saw the exchange. I turned my head away, trying to ignore my conscience.

Brent approached me, asking me to come lay next to him. He wanted to talk to me.

I wasn’t ready to talk. “I’m going to hang out with Layken, if that’s okay with you.”

“No, it’s not okay, Claire,” Brent seethed.

“Really? I didn’t know I needed your permission to hang out with my friend for the evening,” I said, wanting to scream, but I forced myself to keep my voice low so the rest of the group didn’t hear.

“It’s not about needing my permission, Claire. It’s about you shutting me out because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” I lied, while my lips did that stupid pursing thing.

“Claire, you can lie to yourself all you want. But you can’t lie to me. I know you, remember? I know you never developed feeling for anyone because you knew you’d leave them eventually. I know how you feel about me. And, I know that scares the hell out of you. You don’t have to run anymore.”

“I’m not running,” I lied again.

“So, you’re just back to being stubborn?”

Was that a question?

I sucked in my bottom lip, holding back the words I wanted to spit at him. How dare he say I’m scared, even if it was the truth? I hated he was right. I was scared of my feelings for him and I did want to run, but that wasn’t the point.

Because you’re being stubborn!

“I’m not being stubborn, and I’m not running, Brent. I’m just asking for some space, okay?” For some bewildering reason I continued the lie.

His jaw shifted back and forth as he ground his teeth together. “Fine, keep lying to yourself, then.”

“You know, Brent. I’m still not exactly over what happed at Layken’s house with Mandy.” I was totally steering the conversation in another direction to avoid the truth and he was going to see right through me.

“Really, you expect me to believe this is about Mandy? Because I thought you knew she lied.” He grabbed my elbow and towed me into one of the rooms. I was grateful to escape the watchful eyes of the others.

“You’re right! This isn’t about Mandy. It’s about the fact that you won’t respect my wishes. Stay out of my head, please. As long as were on the subject, I know you didn’t sleep with Mandy but something happened, Brent. What was it?”

“Why is it important?”

“Oh, I see. When it comes to me, you think you have a right to know everything, but you get to choose what you share with me,” I clarified irately.

“Fine! You really want to know? We were at a party over the summer. Mandy looked so much like you my insides ached. I led her to believe I liked her, wanting her to be you so badly. No matter how much I tried to like her, I was only pretending, because she wasn’t you,” Brent confessed, turning his head embarrassed.

“Brent,” I whispered.

His shoulders slumped forward and he hesitated before continuing. “We had way too much to drink and went into a back room…right before it was about to happen…I couldn’t do it. I got up, put my clothes on, and left without saying one word to her. I hadn’t seen her again until this morning.”

“How could you do that?” I asked, completely perplexed that he could behave that way.

“I don’t know, Claire. I’m not proud of it,” he admitted, his shame feeling like a punch to my gut. “My heart belonged to a girl I couldn’t have.”

Brent leaned against the wall with his hands folded over his chest, waiting for my reaction.

I felt sick. I had to get away from him. I loved him without a doubt, but I was in shock over what he had just told me. “I can’t talk about this right now. I need time to think without you in my head. Is that too much to ask for, Brent?”

His only response was a shrug of his shoulders and a half grin which only stirred my dander. I glared at him in nail-biting silence for a few minutes. There was nothing left to say. I bowed my head before turning on my heels and leaving him, trying not to think about it anymore. When I entered the front room, I took a seat on the floor next to Layken.