Several minutes passed before Brent came back into the room. He didn’t look at me, which was probably best because I would have ran to him consoling him, giving in to my desire to please him and make everything right. No, I wouldn’t give in, not if I wanted him to consider what I wanted, regardless of how much he needed to protect me.
Because you’re stubborn!
As the night progressed, Brent didn’t spare me one glace, nor did he speak to me. I asked him to stay out of my head not avoid me completely. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I returned I kneeled in front of him. There was a painful distance in his gaze when he looked at me.
“You don’t have to ignore me,” I whispered so only we could hear.
Brent huffed out a laugh and turned his head. “You got what you wanted, Claire. Go spend the evening with your friend,” he said, throwing my earlier words in my face.
I bit back the fury I was feeling. My insides began to quake. I quickly steadied my breathing and calmed the sensation. It was then that I realized I was learning to control my abilities. As much as my resentment was willing me to shake the walls and bring the loft down around us, I was not about to explode in front of our friends. I stood up feeling like I might have actually pushed Brent too far this time and returned to my spot next to Layken. She knew I was distraught, but thankfully she didn’t pry.
As the movie played, I watched the group drift to sleep one by one. Reese was the last to doze which I expected. I closed my eyes trying to sleep, but my mind was going through the list of unanswered questions, searching for guidance. I wanted more than anything to know with certainty if I was doing the right things. Who was I kidding? I really wanted to know if I had two Paramours. Did I have to make a choice? What would it change if I made the wrong choice? I needed reassurance and I knew just where to get it.
Bad idea Claire, you should wake Brent and talk to him. It would be dangerous to go alone. You know it.
That may be, but I didn’t need Brent’s permission to do this. He was not my father. I decided as foolish as it seemed, the best way to get answers was to go to Maggie’s and see Omni. I was still in my clothes so sneaking out would not be a problem. I could get to Maggie’s and back before anyone even knew I was missing.
Brent’s phone was on the counter, but his keys were nowhere to be found. I cursed him silently, thinking he kept them in his pocket, knowing I might try to leave. How could I blame him, as I had made a habit of doing just that? I convinced myself it was different this time. I needed these answers to help all of us so it was somehow justified. I swiped his phone and quietly left the loft. Outside, I called a cab which arrived just a few minutes later.
CHAPTER 24
“Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” – Scott Peck
Once at Maggie’s, I stopped at the front door, considering if I was doing the right thing. Frustrated with myself, I admitted that maybe this was impulsive and I should go back to the loft. I needed to apologize to Brent. I scolded myself, thinking I was doing exactly what I always did. Brent was right; I was looking for an excuse to run. It was all I had ever known. Run and trust no one.
I felt a hand on my shoulder startling me and I jumped, dropping my keys.
“What are you doing?” Logan asked, while turning me to face him.
“Logan, you scared me to death,” I said. To my surpri
se, Logan didn’t look angry with me for leaving. Instead, he looked at me expectantly. “I needed some answers and I can talk to an Agent here.”
“You should have got me up, Claire. I would have come with you,” he said, while bending down to retrieve the keys I had dropped. After picking them up, he handed them to me.
“I know. I’m sorry. It was stupid to come alone. Please don’t lecture me, Logan,” I snapped, having been in the habit of defending myself when I disappeared.
“Whoa,” he said throwing his hands up in the air defensively. “I’m not lecturing, just worried about you.”
I unlocked the door. Before I opened it, I turned back to Logan.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I thought I’d get back before anyone knew I was gone,” I admitted, happy Logan was not like Brent in that way. He wouldn’t make me feel like I was being difficult for doing what I thought was best.
“Guess not,” he said shrugging. “Shall we?” he asked, turning the knob and opening the door to Maggie’s house. He put his hand on the small of my back, his touch affecting me, though I couldn’t place the emotion.
When we entered, I threw the keys on the small table in the hall. We made our way upstairs to my room. Logan turned on the light and I went and stood in front of the mirror while he sat down on the bed.
“Claire.” Logan’s edgy voice broke my concentration. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked imploringly.
I turned, looking at Logan’s troubled face and took a seat next to him. “Sure, Logan.”
He positioned his body so we were facing each other. “Claire, I…I’m not sure how to say this. I know that you’re supposed to be with Brent but I have feelings for you and I’m not sure what to do about them.”
I understood exactly what he was saying because I was conflicted too. I was sure my
heart belonged to Brent, but I did have feelings for Logan that went a little farther than friendship.
“I understand Logan.”