“That’s incredibly sad,” I whined.
“Yes, it is Claire, but you all have the power to free them. The others will not be so easy and those are the ones that pose a threat to the human world. We have faith in you. You were the right choice,” Omni praised.
When I went to say thank you, he was gone. I wasn’t sure how any of this worked or how we move forward from here – but I felt happy – my puzzle solved. I finally had my answer to why I was here.
CHAPTER 25
“When I think of what life is, and how seldom love is answered by love; it is one of the moments for which the world was made.” – E.M. Forster A Room with a View
We all gathered in the family room to watch television, drowning in the emotions of our shared experience. I was thinking about how hate could completely destroy you if you give into it. Kace had hated his brother and Logan had hated his father. Consequently hate was able to steer their fears, cloaking them in darkness and turning them into something they otherwise knew was wrong. Hate leads to fear and in turn, that could make us an easy target for the darkness that shadows us.
Hating the way I had grown up so much, I allowed my fear of getting close to someone to guide the direction of my relationship with Brent. That fear nearly stopped me from loving the one person that loves me immeasurably. I would always consider hate to be the greatest evil we could face in our lives because as human beings, it was our nature to be passionate. Passion, though a wonderful virtue, could make us weak, allowing us to hate more easily than we should. With so many people in the world, I knew I couldn’t reach everyone, so for now, I would allow myself to believe the words I told Kace, that humans are inherently good and stronger than he thought.
It wasn’t long before almost everyone had fallen asleep. Brent was still glued to the program that was on. I was finishing reading A Room with a View. I finally understood what Brent meant when he said George and Lucy ignored what was important. Brent did not belong to me at the time we discussed it and ignoring that would have changed everything. Much like their story, ours had a happy ending after all.
So engrossed in the words I was reading, I didn’t notice Brent was in front of me until I felt the warmth of his skin as he touched my hand. I let the book fall to my lap. Brent took my hand, lifting me from the sofa, his lips curled into a smile but he didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. Everything he needed to tell me, he said with his eyes. I loved that we could communicate this way, and often, it was clearer than words could ever be.
I knew what was about to happen when Brent lifted me gently into his arms, kissing me tenderly and carried me up the stairs. I knew without doubt I would give myself to him fully, my heart in my hand for him to take. In this life time or the next – it was his. I was ready for this and I wanted it more than anything.
When we reached my room, he put me down and faced me. His eyes were so warm, his feelings for me on full display, and I let the feeling linger between us, filling me with love.
“I love you so much, Claire,” he whispered breathlessly, and I started to panic.
My heart stuttered reminding me I needed a minute – to breath – my own air.
“I have to pee,” I lied, knowing he would read the hesitation in my thoughts if I didn’t get out of the room soon.
Brent chuckled, released me, and took a step back. “I won’t say you spoiled the mood, Blake,” he laughed, “but I’m just a tad disappointed.”
I went into the bathroom and locked the door. Turning on the cold water in the sink, I filled my hands and splashed it on my face, attempting to remove the flush from my cheeks. I turned off the water off and looked in the mirror, frozen to my reflection, searching my own eyes for help.
I didn’t need help with the choice. I was positive I wanted this. But I was at a loss for how to get past my insecure thoughts. I had no idea how to give myself to him like that, what he would need from me or wanted me to do. My only experience in this area was hearsay from girls saying it was awkward and had changed everything for them. I didn’t want anything between us to change.
The larger crisis was trust and I was fooling myself if I thought I was past it. I was still slightly insecure about where he had taken things with Mandy and how he handled it so callously. Could he break my heart the same way if I ever upset him? My choice meant releasing all of my fears, and trusting him with all of me. I wanted to, but could I actually let it all go like that.
I had guarded my insecurities and my heart with an iron gate for eighteen years. I finally unlocked the gate when I met Brent, but the kind of intimacy that came with sex was a different thing to unlock. My family had left so many places and so many people, so often, in my life. I never made an attachment I couldn’t break. I knew the stamp between us was strong, however, I knew it could also be broken, not as easily as other attachments, but it was possible. If Brent were to ever leave me, I knew I would be heartbroken. But if I gave myself to him and he left, it would kill me.
You cannot focus on the unknown. What is meant to be will happen, and you can’t change it. You know it’s true. Go out there and surrender yourself to him. He loves you irrevocably and it’s a love you are blessed to have found.
For once, my subconscious and I agreed. Brent and I loved each other, sharing a bond others struggled to find every day of their lives. I dried my face and took a deep breath, preparing to turn over my heart and my body to Brent.
When I entered the room he was laying on the bed on his side. The room was dark other than a dim glare from the small night light in the corner. I looked at the sharp corner of his jaw searching for any signs that he was conflicted, but it was relaxed. He patted the bed next to him and I slid in, facing him. I stared at his lips, the soft perfection that they were.
We were lost in the communicative stare between us and my body filled with warmth, slowly and deeply from within. I took a long deep breath in and let the warmth roll through me, soothing away all of my fears. I had been scared but I was foolish to think I couldn’t trust him with all of me. I placed my hand over my heart, feeling the throbbing on my palm, and Brent placed his hand over mine.
“All yours,” he whispered softly.
“I love you,” I whispered back.
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed each fingertip tenderly. “We don’t have to do this, Claire. If you’
re not sure, we can wait.”
“Did you read my thoughts while I was in the bathroom?”
“Nope,” he laughed. “You lips betrayed you this time,” he informed me, lightly tugging on my chin, causing my lips to relax.
Damn pursed lips.