I smile. Liv is spunky, and I could see us being friends — if we’d met in another life, of course. Girls like Liv don’t have hooker friends. She loops her arm through mine, and I’m at a loss for how nice she is. Once we’re on the highway, she asks, “Are you going to be okay?”
I nod. “I’ll be fine. Thank you for being so kind to me.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Her forehead wrinkles. “Tug’s been through a lot.”
I keep my voice calm, but on the inside I’m fuming mad. “It doesn’t make it right.”
“No, but I thought you should know. My brother used to be a loving free spirit. He’s hilarious and usually the life of any party.”
Curiosity gets me. “What happened?” Then I remember the papers, the headlines about Brady’s mother’s suicide, Liv and Tug’s mother. “Your mom?”
She nods, her expression somber. “We saw it happen. It changed all of us.”
I don’t really know what to say. “I’m sorry.”
“Even after that, though, Tug was okay.”
I probe, though I know the answer. “Tori?”
Liv sighs. “Tug’s had a crush on her since we were kids. When she chose Brady, he took it hard, but accepted it. It’s a long story, but Brady and Tori lost a baby. To make the situation worse, a girl from Brady’s past showed up shortly after with Drew. Tori was really depressed and left Brady for a long time. Tug found her, and they slept together. Tori ended up pregnant again.”
“Tug thought it was his?” I ask, assuming that’s what must have happened.
“Yep, but it’s Brady’s. Tori and Brady got back together, and Tug hasn’t been the same since.”
That explains his anger about not using a condom. I’m still pissed that he played me the way he did, though I’m also annoyed with myself for being stupid.
“We all go through shit. I have, but I would never be cruel to others because of it.”
“True,” Liv agrees, “but we all handle our shit in a different way.”
Liv has a point. I can’t say I know where my head would be if I’d watched my mother blow her brains out.
“None of this matters anyway. He doesn’t want me.”
“I only told you because I don’t want you to feel badly about yourself. Tug is in a shitty place, and his actions today have nothing to do with you.”
Little does Liv know my feeling bad about myself started long before Tug. We reach the border, and I instruct Liv to pull into a U. S. parking lot so I can cross the border over the foot bridge.
“Are you sure?” she asks. “I don’t mind driving you.”
“It’s fine. Returning traffic can be backed up for hours. You have a wedding to attend. Thank you for the ride and the talk.”
I walk away from her car and don’t look back. I want to forget last night and today ever happened.
I want to forget I ever met Tug Hunter.
Today my brother is marrying my best friend, and I’m sitting in the hotel bar, licking my wounds and drowning my anger with alcohol. Next to sex, booze is the best escape from reality. What in the hell was I thinking? I actually like Maria, and I’ve ruined any chance I had with her. My relationship with Tori and my brother is unrepairable, and my sister may never speak to me again. I glance up at the sky and say, “Thanks, Ma! Could you have fucked me up any more?”
“Cussing her out won’t help.”
Brady’s voice fills my ears as he enters the bar. I toss back another shot and shrug. He takes the stool next to me and clasps a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, enough booze. My best man can’t be drunk for my wedding.”
“Didn’t you hear? I’m banned from your wedding,” I say, and toss back another shot.
He pushes the glass away from me and hands the bartender the bottle.