Tug (Irreparable 3)

Throughout the reception, a girl we all went to high school with keeps hitting on me. I’ve dodged her most of the afternoon, as the press is all over the hotel. The more I drink, the harder it is to avoid her advances. When I reach a point where I no longer give a shit about the press and my dick wants to be in control, I haul her onto the dance floor. I smack her ass several times and then grip it tight, but when I stare into her eyes, I see another set of eyes looking back at me, and I release her. I leave her on the dance floor, mumbling obscenities at me, and return to my seat. She has my mother’s eyes, and they pierced through me like a warning.

I hear my mother’s voice in my head as clearly as if she were in front of me. “Impressions, Aidan, are very important.” “How people perceive you will get you far in life.” “Aidan, you must please the public if you want to be successful.” My buzz is gone, as is my libido. My dead mother is going to haunt me to the grave.

At some point, I’m handed a microphone and told I’m supposed to say a toast. I hadn’t planned a speech, but I stand up and glance around the room at hundreds of watchful eyes. They’re waiting for me to express my happiness at the couple’s marriage. How can I do that when I don’t feel anything more than acceptance for their love?

My mother’s preaching voice is in my head again, reminding me about appearances. I look through the wall of windows, out into the ocean and the setting sun, the fuchsias and indigos a marvel of nature.

“Hello, everyone. I want to thank you all for coming. I apologize for the horrendous view

and the sucky weather you all have been subjected to today.” They laugh, which was my goal. Humor is always healing, but as I look at Brady and Tori, I know I owe them more. “Throughout life, people come and go. They change and grow. There are very few people you can depend on. I’m fortunate to have two people in my life who love me unconditionally and who I can always depend on, even when I act like a complete ass.” The room roars with laughter again. I hold my glass in the air. “Tori, Brady, I couldn’t be happier for the two of you, and I wish you a long and wonderful life together. Cheers.”

I swallow the champagne, along with the painful sting of my words. Tori will never be mine. Accepting that we’ll only ever be friends doesn’t erase the fact it hurts like hell. I’m doomed to live in a dark pit of desolation and pretend my heart isn’t completely hollow.

Tori pulls on my hand and I drag my feet, following her to the dance floor. I put my arms around her and close my eyes. When I open them, the beautiful smile touching her lips makes me want to flee the reception and disappear from her life forever. It would be easier.

“Thank you for the toast. It was beautiful.” I stare at her wordlessly and force a smile. “I know this isn’t easy for you.”

“I’m fine.”

“I know you want to be fine, and I love you.”

“I love you, too, Tor.”

“You made me the happiest woman alive today.”

“Because I gave up on you?”

“No, because you came back to me.”

I pull her close. She rests her head on my shoulder, and the pain I feel slowly dissipates. I could never leave her forever.

I wake after sleeping in late. Last night after I got home from the wedding, my mind refused to rest. All I could think about was how I need to change the public’s perception of me. Being a rich playboy doesn’t make the board happy, and my career is all I have in my life to fill the days. I need a stable girlfriend and one that makes me look good. A career-minded and sophisticated woman, and I know just who to call. I don’t have to love her or enjoy her company. I only have to tolerate her.

My mother faked her entire life for her career. I can pretend for a few months until things smooth over. It can’t be that difficult. The only reason I even have her phone number is because she’s an assistant to a large client of Gibson’s. Her ending up in my bed was a coincidence. I grab my cell and dial her number. She answers on the first ring. Eager is perfect for what I have in mind.

“Hey, Larissa, it’s Aidan.”

“Well, at least you remembered my name.”

“You’re kind of hard to forget.”

“Why are you calling? Did I leave something at your place? Keep it.”

“I was calling to see if you’d have dinner with me tonight?”

“Dinner? Are you delusional?”

“I was a jerk the other morning. I’d like to apologize.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. Text me your address, and I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Larissa opens the door and smiles, her lips covered in cherry-red lipstick. It has no effect on me. Her close-fitting black dress hugs her hips and defines her waist. Her auburn hair is swept off her shoulders into a bun. She’s the epitome of refined class and elegance, everything I should be seen with. The spark is missing, though, and that’s what I want. The raging fire I had with Maria … until I acted like a total dipshit.

“You look beautiful.” I’m being truthful, but the compliment isn’t as sincere as she takes it.

“Thank you.”