Irreversible Damage (Irreparable 2)

Tori

I open my eyes, glancing lazily around the room, first to the monitor that hisses and beeps next to me, then to a vase of flowers before landing on Brady. He’s sitting in a chair with his face buried in his hands. He doesn’t see me.

Unexpected anger simmers low and deep as memories come flooding back to me. Tears well up, clouding my eyes before spilling over. When I suck in a breath, I wince, instantly feeling a stabbing pain in my womb. Mona? My hands fly to my belly. I’m not pregnant.

Oh, God. Where is she?

Brady’s arms are suddenly around my waist, his head buried against my side. I watch his back heaving as he cries. His behavior is confirmation. I know without a doubt that my baby girl is dead. My heart shatters into a million pieces, an ache so deep I can’t even bring myself to cry. I can only retch with violent sobs. Brady’s head lifts, and his red swollen eyes meet mine. When I look at him, my grief is instantly replaced by anger. He knew what kind of person Davey is, and he hid it from me.

I turn my head, looking toward the window.

I can’t look at him.

I can’t forgive him.

“I’m so sorry,” he cries.

I snap my head back toward him, glaring angrily. “You lied to me!”

He doesn’t offer a reply. The guilt is all over his face.

“Why, Brady?”

“He was my friend.” He sounds regretful. “I wanted to believe he had changed.”

“You killed our baby!”

“No! No!”

I don’t want to hear him deny it. “Get out!”

Brady looks completely defeated, his mouth agape.

“Right now! Get the fuck out!’’

He bows his head, opens the door, and leaves.

“How could you?” I shout, so loudly that pain stabs my womb again. I wince, folding my arms over my stomach protectively. It’s then I realize that I’ve had a cesarean. Not only have I lost my baby, but I have to live with the scar as a reminder of what I’ve lost for the rest of my life. Tears shoot from my eyes, fast and furious. I don’t bother to stop them.

Why was protecting his friend more important than protecting me and our baby?

I’ve been asleep for an hour when the doctor wakes me. Through the haze in my brain, I listen to him tell me how fortunate I am that I didn’t need a hysterectomy. Like it even matters; I’ll never put myself through another pregnancy. The one and only baby I was meant to have is gone. I roll away from him as he talks, and before long he leaves the room.

A nurse comes through the door a few minutes later. I roll on my back. She smiles kindly. “I’m Aracely. I’ll be your nurse today.” She sets ice chips and apple juice on the tray next to my bed and rolls it over me. “This is all I can give you for now. If this goes down okay, I can bring you Jell-O or broth later.”

I offer her a weak smile. “Thanks.”

She goes about taking my vitals and logging them in her chart. “How’s the pain? Can I bring you anything?”

“No. It’s okay.”

She nods and picks up the bed remote. “I’ll be back to check on you soon. In the meantime, if you need me, just push this button.” She moves a thumb over a red button before setting it back on the bed next to me. “Do you want me to send your husband back in?”

“No!” I shout.

She flinches and smiles awkwardly. “Very well.”

The second she slips out the door, grief consumes me and I burst into tears. There is a soft knock at the door. “Go away, Brady.”