Irreversible Damage (Irreparable 2)

He doesn’t.

“If you love me, you’ll give me this. You’ll let me leave and give me some time to sort this out.”

“Oh, fuck!” His fist slams into the wall behind me with a loud thud. He doesn’t even flinch.

I do, taking a step to the side to escape his anger.

“Fuck! How can you ask me to live without you? My heart can’t beat without you.”

I throw my hands in the air totally exasperated. “You see, this is exactly what I’m talking about. That’s not healthy, Brady.”

“Enough with the fucking psychobabble,” he shouts, so loudly my ears hurt.

I’m stunned by his harsh words. My eyes well up with tears. He doesn’t understand. He never will.

“Jesus, Tori, if you don’t love me anymore, just say it.”

“You’re a fucking asshole, Brady Hunter!” I scream at him. He’s the one who looks stunned now. “Did you ever think that maybe I don’t love myself anymore?”

His arms are suddenly around me. He holds me against his chest. I’m fighting to move, but he keeps his grip tight. “I’m sorry. Don’t say that. Please, baby.”

I finally wiggle free and cross the room. I need space between us. He starts to speak, but stops. Instead, he growls in frustration. I stand tall and look directly in his eyes while I beg my voice not to crack. “I have to do this.”

He combs his face with his hand. His creased brow finally relaxes. “I know you do, but I can’t stand it.”

I walk to him. He leans into my touch when I cup his cheek. His hand covers mine. “I hate it, too,” I admit. “But I’ll always love you. I just need some time. I feel like I’m drowning.”

“I won’t stop fighting for you.” His thumb brushes over my bottom lip. “Not ever.” His hand falls away.

“I know you won’t.” I offer him a weak smile. “Just give me some time before you lay on the pressure.”

He nods. “I’ll try.” There’s something in his voice that says he won’t, and maybe I don’t want him to. Maybe that’s why I’m running. I want to see if he’ll chase me. If that’s the reason, our relationship is unhealthier than I thought.

“Daddy!” Andrew storms into the room with a handful of shells. Brady scoops him up in his arms. “Look what I found.” He holds up a sand dollar, his smile full of awe. “They’re so cool.”

They’re the shells Brady and I found the day we bought this house. We spent hours on the beach. It was a happier time.

Brady also wears a smile full of awe, only it has nothing to do with the shells in Andrew’s hand. It’s the pure wonder of holding his son in his arms. A feeling I’ll never know.

The lump in my throat is trying to choke me. I swallow hard. Tears prick my eyes. I inhale a deep breath and beg them not to spill. I don’t want Andrew to ever feel how much his presence hurts me. It’s not his fault. He’s a good kid who’s been denied his father for far too long. “I’m going to finish packing. My plane leaves tonight.”

Brady scowls at me. He sets Andrew down. “I didn’t know you were going so soon.”

I push my hands into my pockets and twist my body. “I’m taking the red-eye.”

Andrew looks up at me with a smile. His daddy’s green eyes twinkle. “Where are you going?” he asks innocently.

I restrain my tears and smile back at him. “I’m going to Minnesota for a while.”

“When will you be back?”

Brady smirks. “Yes, when will you be back?”

I narrow my eyes at Brady before looking back at Andrew. “I’m not sure.”

“But I don’t want you to go. I like you.”

“Oh, I like you, too, kiddo.” Oh, God. It’s the one thing I’ve wanted to hear from this kid since the moment he arrived, but it’s too late.