“I did get you something. Why don’t we go into the living room and find it in my suitcase?”
I shake my head frantically at her not to leave me. I turn to see Brady, holding the test in his hand, glancing between Liv and me. Liv nudges Andrew off her lap. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go get that gift.”
Brady’s gaze follows them out of the room. He walks over and sits next to me at the table. I smile uncertainly.
“Is it yours?” he asks timidly, holding the stick out in front of him. “Are we having a baby?”
Tears flood my eyes as I start to sob. He sets the stick down and pulls me onto his lap. His arms hold me against his body. “The test is yours.”
I can’t tell if he’s asking me or telling me. I lift my head up, look into his eyes, and nod. His hand finds the side of my face. He wipes away my tears with his thumb.
“But you’re not sure if it’s mine?”
“I’m sorry.” I bury my head in his neck and cling to him tightly.
“Hey, I told you, no more apologies.”
“I’m so ashamed,” I admit as I lift my head to look at him. There’s love in his eyes, but I don’t deserve it.
He smiles reassuringly. “We’ll be okay.”
“What if it’s not yours?” My voice cracks. “Then what, Brady?”
“I admit, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll love him or her just like you love Andrew, like my own.”
I smile as I sniffle. “You will?”
He squeezes me hard and gives me a chaste kiss. “Of course I will. I’m never letting you go again. I told you that.”
My brain feels like it’s floating as my thoughts mix together with relief and worry. “We can get a test in a few weeks. I’ll be far enough along.”
His brow knits together. “Is it dangerous?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s a simple blood test.”
“Okay.” He smiles and kisses me again.
“Brady, can we wait to tell anyone? In case something happens.” I nearly come to tears again as the lie spills out of my mouth. I don’t want Tug to know until I’m positive who this baby’s father is.
Brady nods his okay.
“Daddy, look what Auntie Liv brought me.” Andrew runs into the room with a stuffed shark. “Grrr…” Andrew sails the shark over Brady’s head.
“That’s a ferocious shark you have there.”
Andrew shoves the stuffed toy into Brady’s neck. “He’s going to bite you.” Brady plays along, shaking and screaming like he’s being attacked.
I watch them, nearly losing control of my emotions when I think about the eventual outcome of the paternity test. I’m almost positive this baby is Tug’s. The thought of what that will do to my family scares me.
Liv comes in, glancing nervously between Brady and me. “It’s fine, Liv,” Brady says for both of us. She runs over to Brady and hugs him.
His genuine happiness to be a father again causes a wave of guilt to hit me. If it’s not his, I’ll have to tell him who the father is, and then I’ll lose him for good. No matter how much we’ve been through, he’ll never forgive me or Tug. It’s not forgivable.
After Liv leaves to pick up Harrison, Andrew falls asleep on the couch. Brady and I look over the band’s travel calendar. As fate would have it, in five weeks, they’ll be in Southern California. I make a note to call my doctor in the morning and schedule an appointment for both a prenatal exam and the test that may very well cost me everything I care about.
Brady
I leave the band on their own for a few hours so I can visit Nate. I don’t know why I’m here when I don’t really have the time. I guess I need fatherly advice. As ludicrous as that feels, Nate’s my only source.