I choke on my laughter, and finally look up at Jake. It’s perfectly timed, and allows me to watch Jake’s confident smile slide off his face. He glances briefly at me and then back to Liv. Jake holds his hands up in front of his chest to ward her off. “Whoa, Liv, I’m just being friendly.” His eyes meet mine again.
What the hell is he looking at me for? There’s no chance I’m going to rescue him from the wrath Liv is about to deliver. Whatever Liv is going to dish out, Jake clearly has it coming.
“Yeah, well, you were just being friendly with Savannah Porter, too when Tor found you with Savannah’s lips wrapped around your dick. So why don’t you get lost? She doesn’t want you to be friendly.” As expected, Liv lays into him, and I love the hell out of her for it.
Porter, that’s her last fucking name. Liv’s bold declaration gives me the bravery I need to remember I’m a cold, heartless bitch now and no longer his sweet little girlfriend. Or maybe it’s the alcohol coursing through my veins that does it. “Yeah, Jake, I’m not interested in anything you have to say. Just go back to dancing and pretend you never saw me.” Yep, it’s the alcohol, all right.
His eyebrows bunch together, and he looks at me as though I’ve disappointed him. I want to punch him for having expectations of me after everything he put me through. “If that’s what you want, Victoria.”
“Don’t fucking call me that!” I spit, glaring at him through narrowed lids.
With his palms flat on the table in front of me, he leans in close, and I flinch. “Obviously I’ve upset you, and that wasn’t my intention, so I’ll leave you be.” He turns and disappears into a crowd of glitter and sequins. I finally manage a full breath of air.
“Obviously, ass-wipe!” Liv holds her fist up so we can bump knuckles, laughing.
My fist connects with hers, and I make a little explosion noise. “God, I love you, Liv.”
“I know you do, sister. I love you, too.” She looks at me with careful eyes. She knows I’m putting up a tough-girl exterior. On the inside, my heart just broke all over again.
I go to the bar and order another Long Island. I suck it down faster than the first, and finish it before I even lift it from the bar. Drinking so fast causes brain freeze, and pain shoots through my head. I hold the glass of ice to my left wrist. Someone once said it helps cool the blood and stop the pain, but they’re wrong. It still friggin’ hurts. After a few more seconds, the throbbing stops, and I set the glass back on the bar. I huff out a breath of air to remove the small strands of hair that have escaped my bun and now hang in front of my eyes. Of all the places to be in San Diego, Jake is here. I pull the straw from the glass, and chew on it for a minute. Maybe I’d be better off in Minn-e-fuckin-sota. I toss the straw on the bar and walk back to the table where I left Liv.
“I thought you went for another drink,” Liv says when I return empty handed.
“What? Oh, I did.” The words stumble out as I glance up to the dance floor where Jake is grinding seductively into a petite brunette. I seriously messed up in a past life or something. He’s pawing her like a nursing kitten, and I gag. I might have even thrown up in my mouth a little.
Liv stands, tugging her skirt down.
I shake my head and smile. Why even bother?
“I’m going to run to the little girl’s room. You want to come with me?” she asks.
“No, I’ll stay here and save our table.”
Truthfully, I’m staying to torture myself by watching Jake and Little Miss Brunette bump and grind. I think all the time about why I’m no longer with Jake. He grabs the ass of Scantily Dressed Brunette Barbie, and I try not to gag again. While I observe him, I realize a sweet little girlfriend is obviously not what Jake wants. Neither is “notes-in-his-locker girlfriend,” “giving-up-sex-anytime-he- wants-it girlfriend,” or “agreeing-to-move-away-from-my-friends-for-him girlfriend”. I don’t know what he wants, but it’s not me, and I accept that. I loathe him for it, but I accept it.
More of my unruly hair falls in my face. “Damn layers.” Great, now I’m mumbling to myself.
I abandon the cute messy-bun idea, and rip the elastic from my head. My hair falls and I don’t even care what it looks like. Briefly, I consider flicking the rubber band at Jake’s face, but ultimately decide to be more mature than that.
While I stalk Jake from my stool, I’m reminded of Brady. Why in the hell I allocate any space in my brain for him, I have no idea. Actually, I do. A good old-fashioned schoolgirl’s crush is the reason. Problem is, I’m no longer a schoolgirl.
Liv smacks another Long Island down on the table. “Since you didn’t get one earlier and mine was finished, I thought I’d bring you one.”
I don’t bother to correct her. Liquor is courage, right? I can use all the courage available to me right now. Even though I already have a good buzz going from the previous two drinks, I finish the third in no time flat. I’m feeling no pain.
My eyes sweep over the crowd in front of me, and I’m relieved that Jake and his playmate are no longer occupying space on the dance floor. I think I might be drunk. “Let’s dance, Livvy.” I stand up, grab her hands, and pull her up with me. Yep, I’m definitely drunk, because I don’t dance.
Liv howls. “Holy shit! I never thought I’d see the day when you wanted to dance before me. Lead the way, girly.”
Liv and I steer through the enormous crowd. A few sweaty bodies bump into us. Wetness on my exposed arms causes me to mentally heave, but alcohol quickly removes the disgust and encourages me to keep moving. When we find a place to stop, I let the music carry me away from my thoughts of Jake and Liv’s ass of a brother. I bask in the drowsy calm the alcohol creates in my body, and succumb to the beckoning of the rhythm. I release all of my inhibitions, and sway my hips in time with the music. I’m sure it’s not pretty to watch, but alcohol holds my mind hostage, and traps me in the moment. It’s liberating.
Before much time passes, a couple of guys join us. They
try talking, but between the pounding bass and my swirling thoughts, I can’t hear them. One of them snakes an arm around Liv’s waist. I watch a horny grin sneak up the sides of Liv’s mouth. She definitely likes the one groping her, but then again, Liv loves all guys.
The other guy comes up behind me. His arms circle my waist, and his palms flatten against my belly. He starts to dance, and I rest my head against his chest. While he controls our movements, I start to drift away, again.
Liv whispers in my ear. She and her new friend are going to find a dark corner. I smile my okay, at the same time mouthing be careful.