Irreparably Broken (Irreparable 1)

Desperation is pouring out of him. My heart wrenches as realization of what he’s doing hits me. He isn’t showing me he loves me. He’s saying goodbye. I fight back a sob. Panic suddenly shoots through me at the thought of losing him.

His forehead rests on my chest, and warm breath tickles my skin. “I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice cracks, and the familiar sting in my eyes returns.

Holding his face gently between my hands, I say, “Brady, don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. What happened with Vanessa was a horrible accident.”

The look on his face tells me he’ll never believe that. He reaches behind me, and ties the strings of my bathing suit top back together. I slide off him and sit back in the passenger seat, wanting to freak out, but I don’t. I also don’t know what else to say. How do you help someone who holds themselves accountable for a random act of fate?

Brady pulls up his shorts, and grips the wheel but doesn’t turn to look at me. I’m terrified to hear him speak. His words are going to break my heart.

“Look, you should get a ride with Liv. I need to go talk to my parents.”

Tears well up in my eyes, and pain rips through me. I have to reassure him that I’m here for him, convince him to let me in. “Brady, we need to talk about this.”

His eyes close, and he inhales. I notice the pulse of his throat when he swallows. “We will, but I need to talk to them first.”

Remembering what Harrison said about money and a contract, I’m sure that’s what he needs to talk to his parents about. “Why?”

“You don’t understand. My mother is going to be pissed. I need to sort this out. Just get a ride with Liv, and I’ll call you later, okay?”

His words say he’ll call, but the sound of his voice clearly tells me he won’t. He’s leaving.

My heart races as my earlier panic engulfs me. I can’t breathe. It's, as though something is literally crushing my lungs. When I look in his remorseful eyes, I’m positive nothing I can say will make him stay.

“Why can’t you tell me, Brady? Are you into something illegal?”

Shock descends on his expression and my heart shreds when I realize he’s hurt by my assumption. His forehead creases as if he’s in physical pain. “What? No, why would you think that?”

“Maybe because you seem to have all this money, even though you don’t have a job. And what was that with Harrison about money and a contract? What’s going on?”

I’m pleading with a wall right now. He’s not going to tell me, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to get him to open up. I’ll do anything to stay in this truck, even argue with him.

“Get a ride with Liv, please.” He’s avoiding everything I just said. Why?

Now I’m desperate. I can’t bring myself to open the door. I want nothing more than to remove the hurt from his face, and from his life. I have to try harder. “No, goddammit! No. No. Don’t do this. Talk to me, Brady.”

“Get out of the truck, Tori.” His tone is commanding, nettled by my refusal to leave, and it alarms me. This isn’t my Brady – this is the Brady I’m afraid of. The one who doesn’t think – who doesn’t care who he hurts. The Brady I love isn’t in this truck and I’m afraid he may be gone forever.

Together we can move past this. I know we can, and if he’d just listen to me, he’d believe that too. I won’t let him push me away. We’ve come so far – shared too much. “No. There’s something else going on, and I’m not leaving until you tell me.”

I yank on his arm. I try to pull his face toward me. He doesn’t budge, just stares coldly out of the window. He’s blocking me out. For the life of me, I have no idea how to force my way in.

“Get out of the fucking truck, Victoria!”

Brady

I knew that would do it. She hates being called Victoria. I’m a heartless bastard. I told her I would call her later, but I lied. Telling her I needed to talk to my parents was the only thing I thought she’d believe enough to get out of my truck.

My real plan is to get out of town and let her move on with her life. I should’ve never touched her, let alone fallen in love with her. I’m not good for her, and she deserves better than I can ever give her. As much as I hate to admit it, Harrison would be good to her. He would treat her right and take care of her. Of everyone in Vanessa’s family, he’s the only one with any real morals. He was the only one to ask questions about the money. The rest of his family accepted the payment my mother offered with no questions asked. How can you put a price tag on someone’s life?

I can never turn off the memory of Vanessa, lifeless in my arms, or the days that followed, when my mother heartlessly covered up the entire accident. Vanessa’s death is just one of the many secrets in my life – one of the many reasons why I have to let Tori go.

I park my truck in a parking space on the main drag in T.J. I intend to hang around the Center for a while, but tonight I’m looking for an escape. When I enter the seedy club, cigarette smoke hits me in a wave, and I cough. I take a seat at the bar, and look around, seeing only desperation. Half-naked women prance about, and plenty of men offer cash to cop a feel.

I turn to the bartender and order Jack, straight up, and toss it back and then order another. The strong liquid burns my throat, and I wait for the warmth it’s creating in my blood to make me forget. Two isn’t enough to block her out, so I order two more. Finally, I begin to sway, her face in my mind growi

ng foggier. I start to forget. When I wake up she’ll return to my thoughts with a vengeance, but for now, cloudy is what I need.

A familiar voice fills my ears. “Hey, stranger, I haven’t see you around here in a while.”