The way he holds me close, like he’s afraid he won’t get to again, strikes an emotional cord. For the first time in my life, I’m completely untethered. The ties that once bound me severed by the magnificent, powerful man worshiping my body. In the space of one evening, I’ve experienced so much horror, so much fear and pain and devastation. I know he wrought some of it, I just don’t care.
Not anymore.
I can get lost in the pain of the past, or I can move forward with a man who would put his own life at risk for me. I can focus on the terrible things he did on his way to freeing me… or I can spread my wings and soar into the future.
Our future.
Liam’s hips shift beneath me and suddenly he’s lifting me, switching our positions. I roll onto my back and gaze up at him, at his beautiful, strong shoulders as he hovers above me, gazing down at me like he’s a lion and I’m the prey. I can’t help but smile.
“Are you gonna gobble me up?” I tease.
One golden brow quirks upward and his lips curve up into a devilish little smirk. “Maybe. Is that a request?”
I open my mouth to respond but he’s already moved down my body, his big, strong hands on either thigh.
“Liam, no,” I say, laughing helplessly. “No, it wasn’t a request. Come back up here.”
Instead of obeying my request, he spreads my legs and plants himself between them. I watch his head dip, feel his warm breath on the inside of my thigh. My body tenses and I fist my hands in the sheets, anticipating contact.
Several minutes and one leg-shaking orgasm later, I’m curled up in Liam’s strong arms, feeling more at peace with the world than I have a right to. I can’t believe he’s mine to hold. It seems unfathomable that this reserved, sometimes scary wall of blond sexiness… is mine to love.
The thought brings a smile to my face. Liam must be watching me because he shifts beneath me and says, “What?”
I tilt my head back to look up at him, toning my smile down, but unable to completely suppress it. “Hm?”
“What’s the smile for?”
“You,” I tell him, simply.
Despite these last few minutes, doubt still appears to be a cloud hanging over him. “I… wasn’t sure how you’d feel after what you saw.” Pausing a mere fraction of a second, he adds, “I’m still not… sure.”
I take a moment, trying to figure out how to respond to that. It’s hard to filter through all I’ve felt and boil it down to something simple, but I do my best. “I… I knew all along it would be something violent. Not on that scale, but… I knew. I would’ve probably opted out of being right there when it went down, but…” I pause, feeling a little self-conscious of what I’m about to admit, but then reminding myself who I’m talking to. “The thing I didn’t expect was the relief.”
I steal a glance up at Liam for a reaction, but as ever, the man is stoic.
I try to muster an explanation. “When it was first happening there wasn’t relief. It was scary and I wanted to—to stop it, but I couldn’t. It was out of my hands. And when it was over I was sort of trying to reconcile the reality of it, all those people who woke up this morning and probably had breakfast and coffee and… just lived their normal lives, with no feasible idea that they wouldn’t come home from that party.” I shake my head a little, not wanting to drive that home. Despite his stoicism and general aura of toughness, I’m sure some part of him must have struggled with the morality of it. I don’t want to make him feel worse.
“But then… after that came the relief. Everyone who hurt me was gone and I didn’t have to do anything. For the first time since my father died, I felt free.”
He doesn’t say anything right away, and even though I can’t imagine he would judge me, in that moment, I fear he will. I sort of judged me, when the feeling first registered, and maybe he needs me to be the more virtuous partner, maybe the contrast is why we work, why he was attracted to me. Normally virtuous would be far from how I would describe myself, but compared to Rambo over here? Yeah.
Instead of responding with words, he leans in and kisses me. My arms wind around him, craving nearness. I’m happier than I would expect to be given the circumstances, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions. Not least of which….
“Where do we go from here?” I ask, once I’ve pulled back enough to meet his gaze.
“You still want to go with me?”
“Well, yeah,” I say with a light roll of my eyes.
He smiles, finally lowering his guard. “Yeah?”
“Without a doubt,” I promise.
“Good,” he replies.
I know a fishing expedition probably won’t net much with him, but I try anyway with a teasing, “Oh yeah? Why is that good?”
His smile turns jaunty and he says, “Because your plane ticket wasn’t refundable.”