It was stupid, not being able to say the words. He was dead, he was a ghost, and he was haunting her house. But it didn't seem quite that simple, not when he was standing before her, more real than any man she'd ever seen, more embittered than any she'd ever known.
"...Where I was killed," he said flatly. His hands tightened on her flesh until it was all she could do to keep from crying out. Then, slowly, his grip loosened. He took a deep breath and then he sat down on a driftwood log, turned his gaze inward and told her the rest.
"As you know from my journal, I gathered the other captains together. I told them everything, about Madison's plan to declare war on Great Britain and Russell's intention to seize our ships and our men."
"And you and your friends drew up a plan to strike first," Kathryn said softly as she sat down next to him.
He nodded. "They were as eager as I." He smiled at the long-ago memory. "Sturgess, of the Dolphin, clapped me on the back and said we would all go back to the States as heroes. Everyone laughed and we passed a bottle of rum, but the simple truth was that every man of us yearned to stand up for the Stars and Stripes and for our country in her hour of need."
His smile faded. "You know, too, that they balked when I insisted I must
go ashore and rescue Catherine before any action began."
The night breeze stirred Kathryn's hair. It was warm and soft, yet for just a moment, she felt a chill.
"They told you not to do it," she whispered, "but you didn't listen."
"Of course I didn't." He looked up, his eyes flashing in the darkness. "Cat had promised to be my wife." He looked at Kathryn. "No decent man would abandon the woman to whom he had pledged his heart."
Kathryn nodded. "No," she said quietly, "no decent man would."
"And yet, I understood their concerns. Had our situations been reversed, I would have taken their position. But for myself... it was one thing to risk sacrificing my life for my flag. To risk Catherine's..."
He blew out his breath and got slowly to his feet. Kathryn did, too, and they stood side by side, looking out over the water.
"The night of our attack was moonless, perfect for what I intended. I took Hauser, my First Mate, into my confidence. I saw the doubt in his face but he was too good a man to question my commands. I told him my plan was foolproof—but that his obligation was to save both Atropos and my crew in the unlikely event something went awry in my scheme. Then I slipped from my ship and rowed a skiff around the island to where Charon's Crossing stood high above the sea."
"The moon was obliterated behind a heavy bank of clouds so that the sky was black as Hades, enclosing the island in velvet darkness..."
His voice faded to silence. The setting sun had finally been swallowed by the sea. Night had claimed the island, not the dark, inky night of long ago that he had just described but one lit by stars and a bright full moon, and yet Kathryn knew that he saw neither. His thoughts were in the past, as well as his heart.
The seconds passed and still he said nothing. His profile might have been cut from stone, it was so harsh and unyielding.
At last, she touched his arm.
"Matthew?" she said softly. "Aren't you going to tell me the rest?"
He sighed, such a deep sigh that she heard the pain of it whisper in the silence.
"Aye," he said. "Aye, I will tell you, Kathryn. And then you will leave this place, for whatever it was that brought you here has surely done it only to mock me."
A breeze swept in from the sea, ruffling his hair, but he paid no attention as he turned towards the cliff, raising his head as if he could see the mansion as it had been on that long-ago night.
"There was a ball at Charon's Crossing. The house was lit like a beacon against the night." A half-smile touched his lips. "I had not been invited. Cat had said it would be torture for her, being forced to smile politely at other men and dance in their arms."
"Did you climb the cliff?"
He nodded. "It was not easy, in the pitch black night, and I knew that Catherine would be frightened when I brought her down, but she would be safe, for I was determined to let no harm come to her. When I reached the top. I skirted the front of the mansion, avoiding the carriages and drivers waiting outside, and made my way around back, to the terrace. I intended to peer into the ballroom, see Cat, and somehow catch her eye."
"And did you?"
Matthew's teeth flashed in a terrible smile.
"I found her, all right, but not inside the house. I had just started across the terrace when I heard voices in the garden. A man and a woman were whispering together and laughing softly in an intimate way that told me they were old lovers. I stepped back into the shadows when I realized they were coming towards me."
Kathryn's eyes fixed on his. "It was Cat, wasn't it?" she asked quietly.
"Yes." His voice roughened. "It was Cat and a pompous scoundrel, one of the bastards I'd overheard conspiring with Cat's father. He was an English lord named Waring."