She batted his hands away from her breasts. “That is your takeaway? And the only thing you’re going to say?”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and cupped her butt. He lowered his mouth until it was a whisper away from hers. “I think I’m kinda psyched.”
“Kinda?”
“Really.” His eyes crinkled in the corners as his smile grew. “If you only knew what my brain was conjuring up the last two days.”
Her breath backed up. “Tell me.”
“This crazy thing with Ian. I thought I was the only Kagan. And building the name up to mean something beyond a gutter rat with an alcoholic father, when I’d almost followed in his footsteps…”
“Oh, Simon. You’re so much more than that.”
“I am now. Because of you. And maybe…” He pulled back and crouched down until his eyes were level with her still flat stomach. “And maybe this little girl or boy in here.” His gaze locked on hers, glittering in the half darkness. His long fingers and the silver rings he wore glowed against her black dress as he touched her belly so carefully. “Maybe one more chance to get it right.” He pressed a gentle kiss right over her belly button. “He or she can be so much better than me.”
She cupped his face and drew him to his feet. “Too late. There’s already a beautiful and strong man standing right in front of me. And we’ll probably stumble and screw up, but this baby will know he or she is loved. We know what our parents did wrong and we won’t do the same.”
He frowned and pressed his forehead to hers. “How do you know?”
Her heart stuttered when his voice cracked. She thumbed away the tear tracking down his cheek. “Because I love you. That you’re worried about being a good dad is why I know. And the only thing keeping me from falling apart.”
“Why?”
“Lest we forget who was chasing who to get married? Babies are forever, Simon.”
“You already raised me, this is easy.”
She laughed and a few of her own tears leaked out. “This is very true. We also have a family to help keep us on track.”
He snorted. “I’m sure Li will give us all the books. Actually, more like Nicky. He has a goddamn library for us to plunder.”
“That is very true.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up. “Holy fuck, we made a baby! Hey, I guess I really am Superman like Jazz said.”
She was pretty sure that wasn’t what Jazz had said, but she laughed into his kiss.
For the first time, fear wasn’t the first emotion she fought her way through.
It was love.
Ten
This was it. The night I’d waited for. The culmination of years of planning and hoping and working…
And here I was in the goddamn washroom, trying to blend concealer over the cut next to my mouth.
I swiped the makeup brush over the last bit in the little tray. I’d had this shit for years. Probably would give me a raging infection to boot.
Swallowing a curse, I dumped the makeup in the trash and grabbed a bit of tissue to wash off what I’d just applied. It was all caked on and looked worse than the cut. Maybe the ladies would think I looked rakish instead of like a street thug.
Besides, the makeup crew would fix me up for the show. As for the people I saw before then, the bigwigs and such, bollocks to them. I was me, and I wasn’t changing for anyone.
Tell that to your mum.
I exhaled and ran my fingertips through the wave of hair in front that wouldn’t stay down no matter what I did. My big night wasn’t starting the way I’d planned.
Stepping back, I tugged down my tight black T-shirt and threw back my shoulders. The door squeaked open and I turned, smiling cheekily.