But I didn’t want to be alone. And if I wasn’t going to be alone, I wanted to be with her.
No one else would do.
The partition came back down after a couple minutes. It took a few tries for me to direct Frank properly. Not just because I was new to the area and had only visited Zoe’s once, but it was dark and I was sufficiently buzzed enough to make it hard to concentrate. I didn’t smoke very often for this reason. I wasn’t the type who normally liked to be out of control…at least not beyond a certain extent. But the show had done something crazy to me. Offered me the first hit of a drug that I wanted more and more of.
Acceptance. Adoration. Attention. Lots of fucking a’s, and now I was headed right for Z.
Add in a healthy amount of old-fashioned running from my problems—and Jerry—and I was spoiling for trouble.
I leaned forward to try to make out the salmon pink building in the dark. “That’s it. There it is.” I thought. Maybe.
“You sure?” Frank chuckled. “Maybe you didn’t see the place in the daylight.”
“Hey, hey. Watch it. You can’t say stuff like that about her.” Me? Sure. He could say what he wanted. But I wouldn’t let him sully Zoe’s character even in passing.
“Wow, honor from a rockstar. That’s new. Is that what they teach you over in London?” He jutted his chin in the direction of J Town. “But yeah, think that’s where you want to go. There’s a patio out back. Looks like a righteous party happening. Damn close to the beach.”
Even though Frank was far from a friend, he sounded wistful enough that I nearly invited him to park the car and join us. Then I realized I hadn’t asked Zoe. She didn’t even know I was coming over, never mind my driver.
“Maybe you can stay a bit next time.”
Presumptuous, wasn’t I? I hadn’t even been invited tonight, but yet of course I’d be getting a return invite with an extra for a friend.
“Really?” Frank frowned. “You’re an odd dude. Total jerk one minute, almost decent the next.”
I shrugged. “I had a rough childhood. Isn’t that the excuse used for most things nowadays?”
He surprised me by laughing. “Yeah, I guess it is. Give me a call when you need a pickup.”
“Nah, mate, I’ll catch a bus or Uber. You did your duty for the night. Go home and bang your wife or something.”
“Or something,” he agreed. “All right. If you’re sure.”
“Yeah.” I leaned forward and held out my fist through the opening in the partition. Frank’s eyebrows climbed, but he met my fist with his own. “Take it easy, man.”
Surreptitiously, I passed him the joint, and he grinned. It was down to nothing, so it wasn’t like he’d be getting much. But it was the thought that counted, right?
“I should say no to this. On the job.” He tucked it in a little cubby between the seats. “I’ll save it for after I bang the missus.”
“Or something.”
He laughed as I climbed out, dragging my guitar case and knapsack with me. Then I made my way to the side entrance Zoe had brought me to the first time, keeping my head down as I bypassed the lively party on the patio. There was a fire pit and the scent of smoked meats hung in the air, making my stomach growl. I hoped like hell Zoe had something to eat.
I’d start with her and move on to something else for the second course.
Sure you will, pal. Like she’ll be down for that.
I frowned as the barred windows came into view. Not that bars weren’t good for protection, but maybe this wasn’t the safest place for her to be living. A woman alone, so close to the beach? A wild, free-spirited beach, no less.
And I was the wannabe rockstar showing up at her door at nearly eleven o’clock, smelling of weed and booze and sweat and God knows what else.
I was probably the biggest threat she faced, but I just couldn’t stay away.
A moth flittered around the small caged light near the side door as I stepped into the alcove. Apt, wasn’t it? She was my light, ever burning. Always unattainable.
Fuck, I didn’t have a way in.
The keypad offered no clues. The side entrance didn’t have a buzzer, at least that I could see. I squinted at the numbers. I knew this make and model of keyless entry system. It wasn’t high level. Another reason this wasn’t the best place for Zoe.