When Zoe whirled toward me, I sat up and held up a hand. “Hear me out.”
Zoe crossed her arms across her marvelous chest and I tried not to look at her supple thighs beneath the tails of her shirt.
That outfit—or lack thereof—was not conducive to serious discussions.
“You have to know I’m rubbish for you. I’m not what you’re used to. I’m not the guy you bring home to Mum. Hell, you can’t even bring me home to your rockstar-married cousin, and she should be more sympathetic to my kind than anyone.”
Except I knew why she wasn’t, and it wasn’t because I toted around a guitar for a living. I just didn’t know how much digging she’d done into my past. Obviously, far too much.
And I’d better watch my step.
“You have some rough edges, and you weren’t born with a silver spoon. So what? We all make mistakes, we all do things we shouldn’t. That doesn’t change the core of who you are. I see that core every time we’re together. God knows I didn’t want to.” She let out a self-deprecating laugh and shoved a hand through her wild hair. “I wanted you to disappear. But you wouldn’t give up on me, and I’m so glad. I’ve never…” She blew out a breath. “I’ve never felt like this before. And I like it. Other than the panic attacks at three a.m.”
“That’s not panic attacks, love. That’s being strung out from needing your man.”
&n
bsp; I barely managed to duck before she swung at me. I grabbed her arm and hauled her into my lap, giving her a hard kiss. “What I didn’t mention was, I need you just as much. I wake up thinking of you and sleep the same. You’re my light, Magic. Without you, there’s only the dark I lived with for my entire life until you came into it.”
Her throat moved as she swallowed. “What’re we doing here, Ian? Where are we going with this?”
“We’re already there.” It wasn’t the answer she was asking for, nor was it the one I ached to give. But though I’d halfheartedly tried to push her away, the truth of my situation with her was all I could offer. “I love you, and you love me.” When she shivered, I brushed her hair behind her ear and tipped her chin up to mine. “And that’s everything.”
She nodded and wound her arms around my neck. “It’s everything, but if you ever mention those pictures we took to anyone, I will tie your dick into a giraffe like a balloon animal.”
I wasn’t even entirely sure what a giraffe balloon animal looked like, but I had to laugh. And I kept right on laughing when she pressed her mouth to mine.
When we drew apart, I touched my forehead to hers. A selfish bastard I was, right down to the marrow. “Tell me you love me, Zoe. Just let me hear it. Please.”
Even if it’s just this one time.
She smiled, all sweet innocence and dirty mischief. “I love you, Ian Kagan.”
I shuddered and gripped her harder, needing to feel her warmth in my arms. So I wouldn’t forget.
So I could carry this moment with me and let it fuel me for the rest of my cold, lonely days.
The days that would surely come.
That I deserved.
“Your turn.” She brushed my hair out of my face, her eyes soft with affection.
“I love you, Zoe Manning.” I kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks. Finally, her mouth. “I love you this day, and will love you every day that comes after.”
She let out a shaky laugh. “Is that all?”
“No.” I skimmed my thumb over her full lower lip. “Even when I’m gone, I’ll still love you. Forever.”
I only prayed that day wouldn’t come sooner than either of us expected.
Twenty-Eight
I was in love.
Me, the guy who rarely even had girlfriends. I’d skipped over dating and gone right to wanting to make a commitment.
I was officially crazy.