We continue down and pass what looks like a cul-de-sac with two houses on the street. We turn down a gravel road, and I take in the lush trees on both sides as we get to the house. The white house looks deserted and nothing like the pictures.
“What the fuck?” Hailey says what I’m thinking. I put the car in park in front of the house. I open my door, going around to the front of the car, and I see a shutter that looks like it’s falling down. Motherfucking, I think to myself.
“That picture lied.” I grab my phone to call Nanny right away, and not surprising, it goes to voicemail. “I know you’re not answering because you know why I’m calling.” I don’t even say goodbye. “Maybe it’s just the outside.” I dig in my purse for the key Nanny gave me last night. “Let’s go and see how bad it is.” We walk up the front steps and find one whole step missing. Missing a fucking step. I look up at the sky, praying for fucking patience. I’m cranky, I’m tired, and while my body still aches from my sex marathon, it’s asking me to go back for more.
I shake my head as we make it to the door, turning and seeing that swing that stood out in the picture. The chains that hold the swing are rusted and covered in spider webs. The wicker seat is so dirty, and the pink rug that was under it is blown half over. “Okay, so we need to do a couple of projects,” she says as she puts the key in the door and turns the lock. “Well, at least we aren’t locked out.” She opens the door and takes a step in.
The huge living room is empty. Just a single white chair in the middle of the room faces the fireplace that has a board nailed in front of it. The gray floor has seen better days. I turn the lights on, but they just flicker. We walk in to see the kitchen to our left with a wooden island in the middle and all the cabinets white and sterile. The only thing with color is the brown wooden butcher block counters. The deep white porcelain sink faces the window looking out to the front. The windows have no shades. The white gas stove with black burners has seen better days as has the fridge. Making my way to open it, I’m accosted with the smell of rotten cheese mixed with some eggs and god knows what the fuck else. It smells worse than the fucking morgue. “We need to buy a new fridge and stove,” I tell her. I hate to be the one always thinking negatively, but this is the worst shit ever. When I get my hands on my grandmother, I’m going to throttle her.
I follow Hailey down a hallway, rolling my eyes at the bathroom, and then see the bedroom with access to a closed-in back porch. It almost gives me the creeps, so I don’t fight with her when she calls dibs. Besides, I need to be away from noise when I sleep.
I head to the living room and walk up the stairs, where we find two more bedrooms with a huge bathroom with a sunken tube. After we walk to the back of the house, I pick my room, and Hailey decides to make the third bedroom her office. “Fuck. Where the hell are we going to sleep tonight?” I ask as we walk back downstairs.
“We are going to sleep here,” Hailey says as my phone rings.
“Nan, you have so much explaining to do,” I start off and then walk around the empty room.
“I just got your message. Is the house not to your liking?” she says.
“It’s empty,” I tell her. “Like so empty I don’t even think racoons would live here,” I continue as I walk to the back of the house.
“You were always so dramatic. I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Well, you’d better call your friend and tell her that we need the super or someone to come and clean this shit up.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll call Delores and have her come see you. Now make the best of it.”
I press the end button. “I don’t think there is a super.” I look at Hailey, who stands there smiling. “We need to hit up a Walmart or a Target.” I open my maps and google the closest Walmart. There must be a mistake, so I refresh again. “What the fuck? The closest Walmart is an hour and four minutes away.”
Hailey nods her head and smiles, then heads outside to grab our bags and bring them inside. “An adventure,” she tells me, and I glare at her. If I could, I would growl at her. Not only am I sleeping on an air mattress, but I also have to hit up a Walmart. Someone kill me now; I pray this is the only hiccup I have while I’m here.