“No, man.”
“Pre-show meet-and-greets are in ten minutes.”
“I know. Gotta shower first.”
“I bet you do. Hell, Rush, you probably need a hazmat unit to get clean after rolling around with that unholy trinity.
The blonde had some video of you from earlier. You were snorting coke off her tits.”
“Uh, well . . .”
“I deleted it.”
“Thanks.”
“Not smart.”
“I know, it’s just—”
Bradley sighed. “Yeah, I know. Today’s been rough for you. But you didn’t really think she was going to wait around forever, did you?”
“No, man. I lost her. I know the score.”
A beautiful, caring woman like Brenda? I had known it would only be a matter of time before some other guy came along who could give her what she wanted. Things I couldn’t or wouldn’t offer.
Fidelity. Reliability. A permanent home.
“You send her the flowers?” I asked. Red roses. Her favorite.
“Yeah, but I don’t think it was such a great idea. Those aren’t the kind of flowers you send somebody on their wedding day.”
“I had to do something.”
“You shoulda just called. Told her you’re sorry you screwed up with her. Wished her well. If Randy sees ’em and figures out who they’re from, it’ll just piss him off.”
“Too bad. My brother’s marrying my ex-fiancée.” I had been prepared for her to move on. It was who she’d moved on with that had blindsided me. “Doesn’t anyone get that I’m the injured party?”
Bradley snorted. “You stepped out on her.”
“We were on a break! And she’d withdrawn from me emotionally long before that.”
So did everyone else back home when I dropped the bomb that I was leaving college to pursue a career in the music business. Everyone except for Bradley.
“Not an excuse,” he said.
Bradley didn’t bullshit, just spewed the facts as he saw them. He always gave it to me straight, which was one of his best qualities. He had a lot of them—intelligence, loyalty, honesty. There were a lot of reasons he was my best friend, my only one these days. My bandmates didn’t count. We enabled one another’s dysfunctions.
“I know. I get it. I came clean with her and accepted the blame.”
I raked a hand through my hair, and my agitated movement stirred more noxious perfume. The fragrance stung my eyes again, making them tear up. It sure as shit wasn’t the sharp shards of regret.
I had made my bed. Gotten laid in it before I’d ended it with her. But I was good now. Things were better. I had moved on.
Why then did every step I’d taken since then feel like the biggest lie of all?
Jewel
“Shit,” I muttered, waking to my alarm blaring. Rolling over, I fumbled for my cell. Swiping off the clock function, I frowned into the grainy gray twilight. I couldn’t believe it was sundown already.